Categorized | Sports, Sportsfolk

St. Louis Rams Cut Michael Sam for Being “Not Gay Enough”

St. Louis Rams Cut Michael Sam for Being “Not Gay Enough”

ST. LOUIS – In a statement released today by St. Louis Rams Head Coach Jeff Fischer, defensive end Michael Sam did not make the latest round of roster cuts because of his apparent lack of homosexual tendencies.

“Honestly, as a team, we wanted to show the world that the National Football League was ready for an openly gay player,” said Fischer.

“But with a less-than-expected amount of what one would consider ‘typical gay behavior,’ Michael Sam just was not our guy.”

The head coach went on to say that the SEC co-defensive player of the year bonded with other Rams players, handled himself extremely well in spite of heightened media interest, was an excellent teammate, and that his athletic performance had, ultimately, “no bearing whatsoever” on the decision not to include him on the final roster.

“Look, there are a lot of great defensive players on the market. However, what we really liked about Sam was that, by drafting him, the Rams, and I think the entire league, could take a big step forward in equality and acceptance for gays and lesbians.

Unfortunately, the maturity, poise, and overall masculinity demonstrated by Mr. Sam was just not in our vision of his role on the team.”


This post was written by

- who has written 9 posts on

just a city boy


One Response to “St. Louis Rams Cut Michael Sam for Being “Not Gay Enough””

  1. Seals says:

    this is my first post! thanks for reading guys.


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial