Gambling Classes to be Added to School Curriculum in 5 Different States
Stop complaining that school doesn’t prepare you for real life. “The Real World, Real Skills Bill” has finally passed through the senate — adding gambling classes to the core curriculum of five states. The teachers are abuzz, students are excited and…
Impoverished Citizens Fail to Speak up for the Billionaires
This is the face of Donald Sterling who lost his NBA basketball team. And those are the brothers Koch; Charles and David, who spend most of their money trying to help others with no thought of benefit for themselves. So…
Wahhabis, Southern Baptists Ban Side-boob; Episcopalians Undecided
Love ‘em or hate ‘em; but like death, taxes, and embarrassingly contrived and preposterous MSNBC op-eds, side-boobs are here to stay. Yup: never mind bitterly warring and counter-warring and counter-counter-counter-owch-a-doodle-warring Social Justice Warriors on Tumblr; or Hamilton Nolan’s online privilege…
Republicans Message to Minorities: “We Cool, Right?”
“…Reince Priebus, the Republican National Committee chairman, has begun an effort to attract more African-American voters…” – The New York Times – August 12, 2014 MEMORANDUM TO: All Republican incumbents and potential candidates FROM: Reince Priebus Hey! Wassup? It’s time…
David Duke “Clarifies” Anti-Semitic Comments
Famously-allegedly-ish “non-racist™” White supremacist; oh sorry, how un-PC; I meant achingly conspicuous “racial realist™” David Duke has popped out (sorry, popped up) once again. Yes, His Most Exalted Ideological Hipsterness has recently expressed what he calls his “utmost sincere contrition…
Kim Jong Takes Un Step Toward Hollywood
TO: My dear subjects FROM: Your Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-un I want to apologize for not informing you of my whereabouts for almost six weeks this past fall and causing you undue heartache and concern but, of course, I cannot….
Local Police New Alpha Codes Fluster Criminals, Officers
Auburn police have found a new way to keep criminals from understanding their scanner chatter for ill, but unfortunately, not one of them has yet figured out how to use it for good. The new alpha call signs, dubbed Cool…
Olive Garden’s Dirty Secret Uncovered
Willow Grove, Pennsylvania – The location where the last known Olive Garden once stood before it succumbed to extinction was the site of a groundbreaking find on Thursday when archaeologists unexpectedly discovered a new insect that has been named the…
Melissa Rivers in the Poor House due to Evil Death Taxes
How’s that for a clickbait headline? It’s wholly untrue, but that doesn’t stop the cash-hoarders from taking any opportunity to espouse their contra-factual nonsense. Estate taxes serve several purposes, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise upfront, so if…
Man Starts Kickstarter Campaign to Support Kickstarter Campaigns
Jacob Nastroni doesn’t consider himself an ideas man, but he has at least one he’s putting to the test: “There are a lot of different Kickstarter projects that I’d love to get behind, but unfortunately I just don’t have the…