Dems/Reps Concoct “Jefferson Bible” Sequel
Believe it or not, Thomas Jefferson’s famous pick-and-mix assortment of Godly Greatest Hits, known as the “Jefferson Bible,” isn’t all that, nowadays; not even to the GREATEST CHRISTIAN AUTHORITIES OF ALL™… Well, Ted Haggard never mentioned it in Jesus Camp,…
An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates
Traveling on the road can be stressful. Sometimes too stressful. One doesn’t need non-road situations to make them more stressful. Someone should mention this to Bill Gates. I am presently doing a road trip with limited amount of time to…
Time Machine Leaks 1st Look at Obama’s Exit Interview
The latest trend in the world of human resources is the so-called exit interview. In theory, it gives a departing employee an opportunity to express his grievances while at the same time providing useful feedback to the employer. Our intrepid…
Breadfeeding: What You Need To Know
All across America, parents and their newborns have been latching onto the breadfeeding craze by using an excavated recipe from the ruins of the now extinct restaurant chain, the Olive Garden. Many are being cautious with the new formula as…
Recount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes
A recount has been demanded on the already scandalous Bush/Gore 2000 Presidential election by Democrats because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote. Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Republican campaigners…
Wolfe Wrong, You Can Go Home Again, and It’s Probably Time
According to the title of the Thomas Wolfe novel, you can’t go home again. But it looks like Lebron James is going to prove that saying wrong as he happily returns to the site of his first professional basketball success:…
“Yucky World” w/Dick and Janey: Presidential Bowing Policy
Announcer: With Dick and Janey on vacation this week, we will be rerunning an earlier interview with Mr. J. Foghill Bottom, the State Department’s resident specialist on diplomatic etiquette. Because President Obama was criticized early in his presidency for bowing…
Lame Duck Damaged, Begs Extinction
Environmentalists and naturalists have sounded the alarm for a threatened avian species resident in Washington, D.C. Having been spotted in the region for close to six years, this bird has recently suffered numerous setbacks and setblacks and appears to be…
Belfast Residents Finally Break Silence on 12th of July Nick Minaj Insult
Belfast residents have finally made their feelings known (as people up North undoubtedly do best) regarding a little-known sectarian atrocity from the most recent 12th of July… When a loyalist flute band surrounded a Catholic youth club and started playing…
The Republican Three-Ring Circus of Sub-Partisan Freaks
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome under the Republican big top and prepare to be entertained by the incredible performers of Boehner Brothers (formerly Hastert & Boehner), America’s premier political circus. I’m John Boehner, your…