Category: Society
Saga of Baby Munoz Brings Joy to the OC
DATELINE: Waco, TX — Many followed the tragic case of Marlise Munoz for the last 6 weeks with anxiety, anguish and great compassion. This was an ethical dilemma wherein, under the protection of Texas law, an unborn fetus remained in…
90 Year Old On Deathbed Comforted By Family Repeatedly Pointing Out How Old He Is
FT. LAUDERDALE, FLA — 90-year-old Elmer Durzylwood was reportedly at peace in his final hours late last night after his family had spent the entire day repeatedly telling him that he is very old, sources report.
ill-Reputed, Reputedly ill Onion Writer Reported Dead
A highly respected writer for The Onion was found dead in near Fargo, North Dakota Thursday. The cause of death is still being investigated. The body of Kilroy Kovacs III, who went by the pseudonym “Kilroy”, was found in an…
Cute Baby Rolls Over, Facebook Servers Crash
A SOCIAL media site descended into chaos last night following the news that a four-month-old baby had hit a milestone. According to reports, baby Molly, rolled on to her stomach to the delight of her proud mother, Bev Herman, who…
Pope Francis Objects to Notre Dame Stadium Overhaul
When University of Notre Dame officials announced Wednesday that they were building a $400 million extension onto its football stadium, many were initially critical of the project’s price tag. But one notable critic has come forward to oppose the project…
Tailgator Arrested
Gainesville, Florida – Police enforcement adjacent to the University of Florida announced Thursday that they made an arrest in a case brought to their attention by a concerned citizen. The police received a 911 call Saturday morning that a disorderly…
Beautiful Netizen People Burn Butterfly Collector At The Stake
A woman butterfly collector who had the arrogance to write an article describing her honest if not sophomoric and misunderstood anxiety over seeing a chubby black woman at her yoga class has been hunted down, bound, blindfolded and burned at…
Royal Caribbean Granted Special Status by the CDC
Atlanta, GA – Royal Caribbean Cruise Line announced today that its cruise ships have been granted special status as “National Centers For Emerging and Zoonotic Infectious Diseases” by the Atlanta based US health authority Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Royal…
Punxsutawney Phil Delegates Groundhogging Duties to Maringouin Mike
Citing career fatigue and the desire to sleep in on Super Bowl Sunday, Punxsutawney Phil announced today he will delegate his annual weather prognostication to longtime Louisiana business associate Maringouin Mike. “I’m proud to announce that Maringouin Mike will take…
Local Man Comes to Conclusion Neighbor is Just Plain Mean
After years of living next door to a man perceived to simply have an abrasive sense of humor, a local man has finally determined his neighbor is just plain mean. Mike Mitty, owner of Mighty Mitty Comics Emporium moved in…