Posted in Biz News Gadgets & Gizmos

Business down the drainpipe for Mario Brothers

WORKERS have spoken of their sadness at a family run plumbing business has gone bust after 33 years trading. A group of plumbers in Louisville, KY announced last night that, the Mario Brothers Plumbing Ltd was to go into administration…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Business down the drainpipe for Mario Brothers
Posted in Human Interest

Cute Baby Rolls Over, Facebook Servers Crash

A SOCIAL media site descended into chaos last night following the news that a four-month-old baby had hit a milestone. According to reports, baby Molly, rolled on to her stomach to the delight of her proud mother, Bev Herman, who…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Cute Baby Rolls Over, Facebook Servers Crash
Posted in Music

Michael Jackson, Whitney Housten, Reportedly Still Dead

THOUSANDS of social media users were shocked to learn that ‘music legends’ such as Michael Jackson and Whitney Huston are still dead. The distressing news came throughout the months following the announcement of the pop idols’ deaths. Mourners took to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Michael Jackson, Whitney Housten, Reportedly Still Dead
Posted in Crime Strange People

Housewife becomes Batman-like

A WOMAN has been arrested after she became ‘ninja-like’ and ‘overly mysterious’ while making dinner to the Batman soundtrack. Emergency services received a distress call from a very panicked husband at a home in suburban Seattle at around 5:45pm yesterday…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Housewife becomes Batman-like
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life

A SATIRE writer has become jaded after working on a ‘real’ newspaper. The satire writer, who can not be named because I don’t want to, has revealed to Glossy News that she, erm… that she, or he, has found it…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life
Posted in Politics

Microsoft Paperclip Endorses Mitt Romney

GlossyNews.com – The Microsoft Paperclip has declared that he is a Republican and has come to the aid of Mitt Romney with an 11th hour endorsement of the pro-corporate candidate. The Paperclip is largely known for his letter writing interventions,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Microsoft Paperclip Endorses Mitt Romney
Posted in Strange People

Protester Ousted for Using Capitalism-Made Product

A woman was removed from protest group Occupy after fellow member found out that she used commercial sanitary products. Mary Chambers was dishonorably dismissed from the group following an incident were her bag fell open and the contents fell to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Protester Ousted for Using Capitalism-Made Product
Posted in Horoscopes

Psychic Doesn’t See Police Coming

Police have issued a statement confirming the arrest of a crystal ball reader in California. Known only as Mystic Mary Star Moon Shine Peters, the crystal ball reader was believed to have been arrested on charges of ‘false prediction’. Mystic…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Psychic Doesn’t See Police Coming
Posted in Science

Smells Good Enough Not To Eat

A study carried out by the US government has, today, published findings that show although perfume smells great, it, in fact, tastes disgusting. Research, that took over 17 years to complete, shows that of the 6,789 participants only 1.2% felt…

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Posted in Biz News

Very Enterprising: Casket of Candy

With the economy in dire conditions entrepreneurs are looking to invest in recession proof businesses resulting in hundreds of coffin/candy shops springing up all over the country. Often branded as the ‘place to bury a loved one and unearth a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Very Enterprising: Casket of Candy
Posted in Talky Pictures

Hollywood: Remade (Electric Boogaloo)

After years and years of poor Hollywood remakes the film capital of the world has decided that Hollywood, itself, needs a remake. Set for release in November 2015 the Hollywood remake will see star-studded town set in downtown Detroit, with…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hollywood: Remade (Electric Boogaloo)
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Newspapers Decline as Baked Beans Continue to Boom

New figures show the continuing decline of print newspaper circulation all over the world. Circulation is down a further 15% from last year’s figures, meaning that fewer people are buying a newspaper. Professor John McDonald, department head of the scientific…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Newspapers Decline as Baked Beans Continue to Boom
Posted in Music

Omphaloskepsistic Guitar Soloist’s Shameful Arrest

A man was arrested by police in the small hours of yesterday night after an angry woman made a call to the emergency services from a bar just outside the suburbs of New York. Police were called to the scene…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Omphaloskepsistic Guitar Soloist’s Shameful Arrest
Posted in Science & Technologizzy

Hover Cars Will Not Help Us

Scientists have warned that placing too many emphases on hover cars may confuse car owners. In an open letter to the car industry, a group of prestigious scientists from a variety of disciplines warn that if the car industry continues…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hover Cars Will Not Help Us
Posted in Health

Extreme Yoga Takes Downward Dog Turn

Health advisers are warning people of the dangers of the extreme yoga craze that is sweeping the nation. An extreme form of yoga has been developed among a group of hardcore practitioners, in the underground yoga dens of New York,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Extreme Yoga Takes Downward Dog Turn
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

50 Shades of Gray Author Shockingly Honored

The author of the 50 Shades trilogy has been handed the Nobel Prize for Peace. In what the literally, scientific and political world are deeming a ‘horrible, shocking mistake’, Erika Leonard was presented with the prize in Oslo City Hall…

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Posted in Strange People

911 Call Blamed on Noxious Farts

A father is said to be responsible for a call out to the emergency services following a fart that was mistakenly thought to be a noxious gas leak. Father of two, Eric Wilson, is thought to have farted in his…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! 911 Call Blamed on Noxious Farts
Posted in Strange People

Mother of World’s Hairiest Baby Hospitalized

A 36 year-old woman is undergoing psychiatric testing after it was discovered that she was unaware that the child she had been pushing around in a pram for the last 5 years was in fact a dog. The dog, known…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mother of World’s Hairiest Baby Hospitalized
Posted in Sports

London Forgets Sports

A recent survey has shown that the people of London have forgotten what sport is, now that the Olympics are over. In a poll, conducted by the British Sports Council, participants were asked simple questions such as “What is basket…

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Posted in Entertainment

The X-traterrestrial Factor

Gene Roddenberry’s family have released early audition tapes, which show an x-factor style auditioning process to filter out alien species for his hit show Star Trek. The tapes show various species of aliens auditioning for roles on Star Trek and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The X-traterrestrial Factor