Royal Caribbean Granted Special Status by the CDC

Atlanta, GA – Royal Caribbean Cruise Line announced today that its cruise ships have been granted special status as “National Centers For Emerging and Zoonotic Infectious Diseases” by the Atlanta based US health authority Centers for Disease Control (CDC).

Royal Caribbean Public Relations Director Nora Salmon said “This is a win-win for Royal Caribe, the CDC and octagenarians worldwide. Royal Caribbean gets a pass on burdensome health regulations while avoiding damaging press reports when the occasional norovirus breaks out.”

She went on to say, “The world benefits from the important clinical observations and in situ research opportunities when a communicable virus or disease spreads throughout our passengers and crew.”

A CDC spokesperson present added, “This increases our NCEZID offices from 3 to 37 and demonstrates how the public benefits when we partner with private business who specialize in disease incubation and transmission.”

Ms. Salmon closed the press conference by shouting “Royal Caribbean, we’re not just a cruise line, we’re a laboratory!”

In other news, Royal Caribbean announced it will be changing the name of its liners to “Traveling Petri Dish” to more fully covey the breadth of experience people will enjoy.

Author: deeptrout

The less I say the safer I'll be.