Category: Entertainment
‘Hokey-Pokey’ Songwriter Laid to Rest in Simple Ceremony
CLINTON, Missouri (GlossyNews) — With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person who gave the world fun and togetherness for over 50…
Newsweek Purchased by Finnish Tourism Dept for $1
Finland, that land of perpetual daytime, when it isn’t night 24 hours a day — known for snow, reindeer, hot tubs, saunas and, I guess, other things, was in the news this last week. In a story that barely made…
Chief Standing Wolf Takes on Rush Limbaugh After ‘Injuns’ Comment
FORT APACHE, Arizona (Glossy News) — Watch out Rush Limbaugh. Chief Standing Wolf, who earlier this year made certain promises to rid Arizona of non-Native Americans if they didn’t repeal their white man laws allowing only English-speaking people in their…
Al Gore Opens Chain of Upscale Reiki Salons
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Ever since Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2007, he’s been looking for a good investment and now he thinks he’s found it. He’s opening a chain of Reiki salons in Washington, DC. Among…
Facebook Addiction Survivors Found Adrift in Cyberspace
RESTSTOP, Info Superhighway (GlossyNews) — A group of Facebook addiction survivors was found floating in cyberspace last night, clinging to the remnants of a past life spent ogling other people’s lives from the comfort of their home or office. The…
Forget Doomsday Prophecies; Beer Prices are Skyrocketing
SOMEWHERE, USA (GlossyNews) — Another Friday the 13th came and went without incident. It’s as if the Universe doesn’t take itself seriously anymore. Mars can run retrograde and Saturn can be humping Venus (relatively speaking of course) and still life…
Agriculture Secretary Fires Michelle Obama
ALEXANDRIA, Virginia (GlossyNews) — In what Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel termed, “ordinary mid-term reassignments” First Lady Michelle Obama was fired today by Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack. The brief press statement, sent via Twitter and read by White House spokesperson…
Trig Palin to Star as Arnold Jackson in ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ Movie
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — In a move sure to shake the entertainment world to its core, Sarah Palin, the poster girl for dumb broads everywhere, has found another way to pimp out a family member to get her palms greased…
Nevada Republican Senate Candidate Pimping Herself to the Media
RENO, Nevada (GlossyNews) — Sharron Angle, the Republican candidate running against Harry Reid for a Senate seat in November has an angle alright. She has come right out and told the media that she’s willing to show up on their…
God and Devil Near Reconciliation; Supergroup to Re-form
Reports indicate Lucifer and the Almighty One may be close to a rapprochement that could bring Satan back to Heaven in a yet undisclosed role. St. Mark, spokesman for the Heavenly press office, continues to state that Lucifer left of…