Reports indicate Lucifer and the Almighty One may be close to a rapprochement that could bring Satan back to Heaven in a yet undisclosed role. St. Mark, spokesman for the Heavenly press office, continues to state that Lucifer left of his own accord and insists that there are no official plans to add anyone to the Heavenly trio.
However, in the last few months there have been rumors of discussions between the two sides. Insiders reached via email and ouija board have indicated that thumbs are prickling and an official announcement may be coming.
“The boss has been different the past few months,” said Robert Johnson from Hell. “His heart doesn’t seem to be in his work. Last Saturday he was listening to a broadcast of midnight mass and practicing some of his old licks. Usually we’d have an orgy or watch a Tarantino flick. Something is up.”
A similar feeling from Heaven was confirmed by Jimi Hendrix. “I heard the office next to the big man has been redecorated, you know. Plenty of new gear and an infinity track recording board, man. St. Thomas doesn’t think it will happen but people are talking.”
The rumored discussions have taken place in the basement of a synagogue in Seattle and a roadhouse in Mississippi.
Close observers of the spiritual diplomatic scene, Albert Green and Etta James, have their own theories about this rumored development. “I think being the main man of evil has gotta wear you down,” Green said. “Okay, look here, so he has plenty of fun and can do whatever he wants, but I think he’s remembering some of the good gigs he had before the fall. So, while the Almighty can be a real know-it-all, he can also really jam. Besides, I think the Devil has had it with the quality of fan he gets. Atila the Hun, Hitler, Jeffrey Dahmer, that’s a pretty negative crowd.”
James said, “When Jesus was crucified, Lucifer thought he got a little payback for his split over creative differences. But three days later, Jesus was back in the group. So Satan decided to really make a go of it on his own. And he did pretty well–look at some of his successes: slavery, World War II, American Idol. He feels he’s proven he can be a headliner. But now he wants to get the old group together and see what they can do.”