A Message For Trump’s Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best

In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal death rattle is intended for those who brought him to power, to those who so loyally follow and support him. I will put aside my normal filtration of speech and mildly PC manner to which I am used to. I begin-

You stupid f—kheads! Do you have any idea what you have done? By voting for this arrogant bastard from a whore mother you have flushed America down the toilet! Thanks for inflicting your alcohol induced conception of what a President should be on the rest of us!

Do you really believe the bulls—t he spouts? Are you that f—king stupid? He is the greatest con artist since PT Barnum! And the circus he starts will be just as great. Read more A Message For Trump’s Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best

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Brexit Voters To Face Prosecution

Activists from the EU referendum Remain Campaign are continuing with plans to pursue criminal prosecutions for many of those who voted to leave the EU.

‘We do not wish to be divisive or retaliatory,’ said a spokesman for the activists, ‘but advice from our legal team confirms that many Brexit voters may be guilty of negligence – and some may be guilty of treason. We believe it to be our public duty to bring these unspeakable criminals to justice.’ Read more Brexit Voters To Face Prosecution

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Jeremy Corbyn Double Bill (2/2): Jihadi Jez Advocates Screening Out Asylum Seekers

Asylum seeking is not a matter of mere individual self-interest; rather, it should serve the greater good of society and the economy. So, I think if we’re going to have asylum seekers, we need to ensure that any asylum seekers with covert neoliberal and capitalist sympathies should be purged.

Lily Allen recently did a good job of scouting for any uncongenially bourgeois asylum seekers with iPods, fancy wallets or more than one and a half pair of shoes.

It seems that the genuine, meritoriously poverty-stricken asylum seeker community have already been infiltrated by the malevolent neoliberal bourgeoisie.

We’re going to have to work out what to do with any of the asylum seekers who don’t toe the party line.

I was reading a history book the other day in the Islington Ecovedanta Meta-Vegan Cafe, and I think I’m starting to formulate a cunning, erm, a perfectly dialectically rigorous and scientifically socialist plan to deal with the problem of bourgeois roaders and malevolent neoliberal conspirators among the asylum seeker community.

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Idea derived from Newsbiscuit discussion:
Check these guys out!

Read more Jeremy Corbyn Double Bill (2/2): Jihadi Jez Advocates Screening Out Asylum Seekers

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Jeremy Corbyn Double Bill (1/2): ‘Dirty Bread’ Shocker

The unelectable Sanders didn’t get the Democratic nomination, the electable HRC didn’t get elected, and the bizarre Donald is now leader.

But what about the allegedly unelectable 80s socialist leader from across the pond, who is now leading the Labour Party? Here’s a bit of a blast from the past.

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Jeremy Corbyn has been caught red-handed buying discounted bread. Here’s a quote from Johnny Littledick of the Hourly Fail: Read more Jeremy Corbyn Double Bill (1/2): ‘Dirty Bread’ Shocker

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