Posted in Top Stories

A Message For Trump’s Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best

In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal…

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Posted in Crime Politics Top Stories

Brexit Voters To Face Prosecution

Activists from the EU referendum Remain Campaign are continuing with plans to pursue criminal prosecutions for many of those who voted to leave the EU. ‘We do not wish to be divisive or retaliatory,’ said a spokesman for the activists,…

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Posted in Music

Jay Z Drops “The Bananas Gloat Song.” Goes Viral

“Kanye! Kaaaaaanye! Daylight come and you won’t go home….”

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Posted in Politics World News

Jeremy Corbyn Double Bill (2/2): Jihadi Jez Advocates Screening Out Asylum Seekers

Asylum seeking is not a matter of mere individual self-interest; rather, it should serve the greater good of society and the economy. So, I think if we’re going to have asylum seekers, we need to ensure that any asylum seekers…

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Posted in Politics World News

Jeremy Corbyn Double Bill (1/2): ‘Dirty Bread’ Shocker

The unelectable Sanders didn’t get the Democratic nomination, the electable HRC didn’t get elected, and the bizarre Donald is now leader. But what about the allegedly unelectable 80s socialist leader from across the pond, who is now leading the Labour…

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Posted in Health Human Interest Serious Commentary

Fellow Asperger’s People: ‘Society’ Owes You Nothing

Here, I am quoting some of my tweets from November 14, 2016. You can probably guess what facets of my identity motivate these tweets. If you have autism, ‘Society’ owes you nothing!

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Technology

Google’s Daydream View Brings VR Home

While there is a plethora of Virtual Reality (VR) headsets on the market, the new light, comfortable and stylish Daydream View by Google feels like a game changer.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment Music Politics Strange People

Trump Taps Kanye West as Next Press Secretary

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Posted in Podcasts Video News

4K Glossy News Podcast 070 (11-14-16)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back with an insider’s perspective on how a TV pilot is shot, specifically “Rules for Dudes” produced by Jack Talbert. The November 21st podcast focuses on my day on set shooting the pilot for “Rules for…

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Posted in Entertainment

The Elite Players in World Poker

It’s no secret that there is a lot of fun to be had with casino games.

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Posted in Making Headlines Politics

Handicapping the Frontrunners for 2020

In the off chance you’ve been in a coma the past few weeks, I have some unsettling news. You might want to sit down. Donald Trump is our new President-Elect. Please, put down that sharp object. As denial about this…

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Posted in Politics

Newscasters Normalize their Relations with Our Alien Overlord Tromp

Major media personalities strive to retain their credibility after being forced to appear naked on television by our alien overlord Tromp. Tromp, the mastermind of the invasion from Pluto, created mass panic when he landed in the United States in…

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Posted in Entertainment Human Interest

Mongolian Jokes

When I was young, there was a large statue of Lenin in Ulaanbaatar. In 2012, the Mongolian government removed the statue, denouncing Lenin as a ‘murderer’. In that same year, I heard this joke: A Muscovite watches a communist demonstration…

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Posted in World News

Trump Agrees to Return Alaska to Russia

In a clever, sage move by president elect Donald Trump, Alaska will be returned to Russia on January 21st, 2017. “We stole these lands and they have to go back to their rightful owners.” The United States purchased Alask from…

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Posted in Entertainment Internets Tubes

Glossy News Revamp

Glossy News is heading towards a HUGE strategization drive! The first thing you may notice is that some of the pages at the top of the site have been removed. The site will still keep its general integrity and flavor….

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Presidents & First Ladies: USA Before and After

Here’s a quick guide to how the First Family has changed… between the Obamas and the Trumps!

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Posted in War Zone World News

4 More Reasons Why You Should Join ISIS

A lot of people were offended by the recent Ten Great Reasons to Join ISIS article by Kilroy. I found myself at a bit of a loss to write an even edgier article. However, help is at hand! Notable Moderate…

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Posted in War Zone World News

Have You Ever Thought About Joining ISIS?

NOTE FROM WALLACE RUNNYMEDE: We rarely republish pieces at Glossy News, even though the ‘Glossy News Classics’ occasional series will feature some great work from our back catalogue. But this recent piece was so hilarious, we are publishing it again!…

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Posted in Podcasts Video News

4K Glossy News Podcast 069 (11-14-16) The Post-Election Rundown

The election is over, Donald Trump won, and here’s what it all means. I called it wrong. That’s the long and short of it, no two ways about it. The polls were within the margin of error, but all the…

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Posted in Top Stories

It Ain’t Over Yet: Post-Election Leak of Clinton’s Secret White Millennial Meetup

The scandalous Clinton leaks continue! Here is the secret transcript of the first two days of November 2016, entitled: ‘Secret DNC Intelligence Briefings.’ November 1, 2016 Two days ago, Hillary Clinton delivered a stunning speech aimed at white millennial voters…

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