Month: February 2013
Government Admits Glenn Beck is Classified Experiment Gone Awry
UNSPECIFIED LOCATION–A rogue agent of a super classified top secret branch of the government (that some say was involved in the Roswell findings of ’47) has spoken with Iron E-News via pigeon and confirmed that American political commentator Glenn Beck…
Senator Warns of Impending Attack on Family Values
A US Senator is drawing the nation’s attention after publicizing a report suggesting an attack on family values is imminent. Addressing a hastily-organized press conference Friday morning, Senator Tate Williams of Arkansas explained that his staff on the United States…
Minor movie critic found dead after reviewing “Constantine”
Not particularly renown movie critic Kilroy Kovacs was found dead early this morning after becoming stranded on the Long Island Expressway during a blizzard. Kilroy was one of four bodies discovered near an SUV which had gotten stuck and run…
Tip #17: When Planning a Romantic Get-Away, Consider Inviting Your Wife
[Glossy News contributor, Tim Jones, provides a periodic column for Glossy News called The Love Doctor, where he shares his insights on matters of the heart.] For years people the world over have sought my advice as a foremost authority…
Video Game Review: Presidential Drone Hit List
Summary Presidential Drone Hit List makes you work to find the people you’re supposed to kill, but the job of doing so is relatively easy and without risk. RIGHT: Presidential Drone Hit List (CLICK TO ENLARGE)
Obama Promises Drone Strikes are Not “Lip-Synced”
WASHINGTON D.C.–Following the controversial lip-syncing performance by singing sensation Beyonce Knowles at the inauguration a couple weeks ago, a pall of skepticism has hung over much of the administration’s policies and decisions, both current and past. One seldom discussed but…
Top 13 Ailments Mis-Diagnosed through Google
Every day, millions of Americans get sick. If they’re smart, they’ll go to Google before hitting up their local HMO provider. Most of them get the wrong diagnosis, but they save a fortune along the way. Based on our research,…
Roque LA Officer Chris Dorner Proposed NRA Speaker
In a move that is even stunning for the NRA, a speaking offer has been made to former LAPD officer Christopher Dorner to speak at the next NRA convention. The decision has many inside the organization questioning the overall impact…
Pentagon: arming Syrian rebels saves lives; NRA agrees
According to testimony at a hearing of the U.S. Senate Armed Services Committee, the Pentagon, Defense Department and CIA presented a plan to supply weapons to Syrian rebels for the purpose of saving lives. The U.S. currently supplies only humanitarian…
Al Gore’s Carbon Footprint Visible from Space
Spectacular new images of Earth were released by NASA yesterday detailing various aspects of our magnificent blue and green marble. One photo in particular stood out above the rest: a crystal clear shot of billions of carbon molecules in the…