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Al Gore’s Carbon Footprint Visible from Space

Al Gore’s Carbon Footprint Visible from Space

Spectacular new images of Earth were released by NASA yesterday detailing various aspects of our magnificent blue and green marble.

One photo in particular stood out above the rest: a crystal clear shot of billions of carbon molecules in the form of a giant footprint covering most of North America.

Scientists would have been completely in the dark as to the owner of the footprint if not for the letters “GORE” on the bottom of the foot.

Apparently, what started out as a tiny dot not worth mentioning has turned into one of the greatest marvels in all of human history. And, according to scientists monitoring this man-made phenomena affecting our ozone, Mr. Gore deserves all of the credit.

“It’s amazing really,” said one climatologist. “Not only has he eloquently explained to us what not to do in regards to greenhouse gas emissions, he has effectively shown it as well.”

In a little more than a decade, the former vice president’s carbon/greenhouse gas output has exceeded what most people can only hope to achieve in a lifetime.

“It wasn’t easy,” Gore revealed. “But eventually, with the aid of multiple large homes, zinc mines, private jets, limousines, and a hearty carnivorous diet, I showed the world what one man can do to affect our climate.”

Fortunately, Mr. Gore’s historic accomplishment has not gone unnoticed and, therefore, will not be forgotten here on Earth. It is currently being recommended by the IPCC to replace the Pyramids or the Taj Mahal as one of the Seven Wonders of the World!

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- who has written 50 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Writer and editor of Iron E-News - a satirical news website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world--at times all too closely mirroring our own. *Also writes under the pseudonym W.P. Scranton

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5 Responses to “Al Gore’s Carbon Footprint Visible from Space”

  1. As an environmentalist, I often defend Gore because how is he supposed to spread his message on a bicycle? And if he did, would he be taken seriously?

    On the other hand, great title, funny story!

  2. Brian White says:

    I didn't know about his carbon footprint, but I knew at one point his neck was visible from space.

  3. jeff boldt says:

    thanks SF Onion! yes, i agree, the message (well, most of it) is still good but i have to disagree with you on the second part, don’t we esteem those whose lifestyles match their message all the more?

  4. Mike Kelly says:

    We should all take a moment to thank him for inventing the very internet upon which we now obtain our daily information intake. Okay, enough of this writing like a freakin monk crap!

  5. Barb Weir says:

    I defend Gore because I also defend Blood, and I want to be consistent.

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