The Not So Funny Side Of Satire


This morning many of us awoke to hear the news of the tragedy that occurred to a satirical news organization in France. It will take a while for the true horror of this event to register with many of us who also write satire. These were brothers and sisters who were willing to point out problems that they saw in the world around them using a humorous twist. Read more The Not So Funny Side Of Satire

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Evil Again Seeps Into Our Lives (Not the IRS This Time Either)

Ding dong the witch is back! Blown in by a rouge wind from the north, the bitch whom I literally can’t stand returns.

Even my hopes that the wretched bowel movement of life Roger Ailes would not have any future intent of letting that fact drowning ignorant bitch back on tv have been doused.

The evil talking head spewing nothing but half facts and conjecture returns to continue to fill the empty heads of the brain dead with her distorted and self serving version of history and events.

Clouding the last chance that I had hoped there was for any function in Washington. Shredding decency and honesty with every vile word that passes through those lips that I know have sucked on the genitalia of the dark prince of hell.

Her latest exploit into showing her true colors is in baiting some poor brain dead follower of hers to kick the ass of Bill Maher for making a joke about her disabled child. While there is nobody who endorses those type of jokes, there is also nobody who condones actual violence on someone for making a joke regardless of what taste it leaves in our mouths.

Oh, and who would be the first to complain if someone made an actual threat against them? Stop rolling your eyes, it’s that shit for brains from Alaska.

Other than alerting those who still possess any level of dignity and respect for the truth to “get the raid”, I am forced to start writing about this dried out and angry heroine of tea baggers and lovers of convoluted English again!

May god have mercy on our souls, and those who she scams out of the last dollars they have in their pockets to enrich herself, as we once again go forth to battle right wing idiocy!

Note: Hat tip to Uncle Bobby for the “get the raid” phrase.

 

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North Carolina Outlaws Free Thought

A new bill was introduced today in the North Carolina senate to outlaw the human thought process. This bill was in response to the recent “Moral Monday” protests that have caused havoc in the state house.

With the recent changes that have occurred in which party is controlling the North Carolina house, senate, and governors mansion (really a double wide), the Republican party has sought to pass laws that they were unable to get past the reasonable minds in the past majorities.

This free for all has led to many questionable bills becoming law which represent ideology of decades past. The voters of the state are not happy with this situation and have designated the official protest day of “Moral Monday” to come to the capitol and express their outrage and to also show off their fancy new duds.

As with any group who can not justify their actions, the Republican party leaders have decided to just outlaw the ability of citizens to think on their own. Removing what would be a normal process is designed to increase the odds that their abnormal process can proceed with little fanfare or resistance.

Several amendments were also introduced to the bill which would limit the amount of oxygen and food that anyone who does not align with their view was legally allowed to consume. This amendment passed strictly along party lines.

The ACLU, NAACP, and groups representing those who still have a brain wave have pledged to challenge this law in court. Contributions for this effort are being accepted at the new web site, WWW.RUSerious.COM, which despite recent IRS problems is designated as tax exempt.

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Missouri Hospital To Avoid Discrimination Charge By Canceling All Visitations

Research Medical Center in Kansas City Missouri is making a change to their visitation policies in an effort to avoid appearing discriminatory by eliminating visiting privileges for all patients.

The hospital has recently become the focus of attention by gay rights activists after having the domestic partner of a patient arrested, which is both gay and gaaaay. Read more Missouri Hospital To Avoid Discrimination Charge By Canceling All Visitations

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Senator Graham Goes For The Low Hanging Fruit

South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsey Graham today championed his desire to restrict the ability to own fire arms to those who are no longer capable of knowing right from wrong.

The senator laid out his thoughts in what many believed was a basic assumption with any gun control initiatives currently before either house of congress. Read more Senator Graham Goes For The Low Hanging Fruit

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John Boehner; the Heart of the Party Without a Heart

Speaker of the house, Republican Congressman John Boehner, today spoke out against the recent change in position of Republican Senator Rob Portman regarding the issue of marriage equality.

Senator Portman recently changed his position on marriage equality after relaying the news that his own son had decided to be gay.

» Discuss this story on Reddit!

Normally a story like this would gather the oohs and ahhs of the general population, but the speaker of the house decided to show just how firm their party was to any suggestion of being moved by any example of parental love that could possibly impact a human into changing any section of the republican party platform. Read more John Boehner; the Heart of the Party Without a Heart

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Prayer Warriors Return From Battle With Hugo Chavez

A group of faithful prayer warriors, armed with nothing more than their bibles and a long history of religious indoctrination, are slowly returning to their normal lives after what they describe as their victory over evil.

They find vindication for their methods in the death of Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez in a battle that spanned 14 years and his four successful elections. Read more Prayer Warriors Return From Battle With Hugo Chavez

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Iranian Space Monkey Main Course At Celebration Banquet

Cultural differences took front row this week when the monkey that made Iranian history by being the first living creature that they had successfully propelled into space and back was eaten at the post flight victory celebration.

After a lengthy and confusing speech by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a medal of honor was placed around the monkeys neck and he was quickly submerged into a boiling pot of oil. Read more Iranian Space Monkey Main Course At Celebration Banquet

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LaPierre “War On Liberal Media Requires Actual Guns”

A quote that is rumored to have been made by NRA leader and chief propagandist Wayne LaPierre recently implied that the war for public opinion against the liberal media was no longer just a war of words, it needed to be a war with actual guns.

His firmly held belief is that many in the liberal media are taking his irrational comments and using them against him in an effort to form public opinion so that the overall safety of citizens would out weigh his personal desire to continue to enrich himself with money from gun manufactures. Read more LaPierre “War On Liberal Media Requires Actual Guns”

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Sen. Graham Shows Support For Women By Removing Balls

South Carolina senator, and future gay rights activist, Lindsey Graham broke from his conservative party today with the unusual move of replacing the “truck balls” on his SUV with “truck ovaries” to show support for women’s rights.

Truck balls as you are most likely aware, are a common sight in backward redneck areas of the country. They are used to signify maleness by those who aren’t secure in their own sexual identity. Many of these men are eventually discovered tea bagging their Toyotas in the remote areas of their home towns. Read more Sen. Graham Shows Support For Women By Removing Balls

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Top 13 Ailments Mis-Diagnosed through Google

Every day, millions of Americans get sick. If they’re smart, they’ll go to Google before hitting up their local HMO provider. Most of them get the wrong diagnosis, but they save a fortune along the way.

Based on our research, we’ve collected a number of case studies of individuals who have sought the sage advice of Google before going in for proper treatment.

Below are just a few of our case studies:

Read more Top 13 Ailments Mis-Diagnosed through Google

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Federal Warning Over Agressive Toys

This morning the federal government issued warnings to parents over toys that are currently being sold for the holiday season which may pose a potential harm to their families.

The revised Furby animated toy has been identified in several dangerous incidents involving both children and adults in recent weeks.

A revision to a toy that had been easily incorporated into the family several years ago, the newest version has evolved into a creature that no longer is bound to just blinking at you and uttering synthesized syllables. Read more Federal Warning Over Agressive Toys

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White House Agrees To Texas Secession, Perry Now King

In a surprising announcement late this evening, the White House announced it’s decision to let the state of Texas secede from the union.

This was reportedly in response to the numerous signatures that were attached to a petition that was submitted to the White House web site earlier this month. When a petition crosses the 25,000 signature mark, it warrants a response.

Right: Newly crowned King of Texas Rick Perry. Click to enlarge. Read more White House Agrees To Texas Secession, Perry Now King

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Maryland Overwhelming Approves Gay Marriage, Mauve

GlossyNews.com – In sharp contrast to the first 32 state amendments barring marriage between two loving adults who happen to share the commonality of penis or vagina, Maryland tonight approved Question 6 allowing marriage equality to become law in the state.

The final vote count was 73% in favor, 20% opposed, and the remaining attributed to confusion with the translation of the question into Spanish. The Spanish question read “Do you approve happy Man-women to bell grande loco?”. Read more Maryland Overwhelming Approves Gay Marriage, Mauve

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Senator McCain Makes Preparations for Acceptance Speech

GlossyNews.com – In what many in the Washington beltway press are calling “just a little bit weird”, the office of Senator John McCain has sent out a press release this morning announcing his intent to hold a victory celebration for his election to president later this evening at the Motel 6 in downtown Phoenix. Read more Senator McCain Makes Preparations for Acceptance Speech

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Hurricane-Struck PA Vote Complete, Romney Claims All 5

GlossyNews.com – The republican vote in the state of Pennsylvania has been completed and tallied. All 5 votes were reportedly allocated to two-time presidential hopeful and failed former Governor Willard Mitt Romney.

The democratic observer at the polling place has filed an official complaint over voter intimidation for the count, which drove up the number of Republican votes, which is expected to delay the results from becoming official. Read more Hurricane-Struck PA Vote Complete, Romney Claims All 5

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