Month: January 2013
NRA Members Suffering From Selective Hearing Disorder – I SAID, “NRA MEMBERS SUFFERING FROM HEARING DISORDER”
Scientists have begun a study of NRA members who seem to have a vacillating hearing problem in which most of their die hard publicum hear certain things in clarity and then on others are fuzzy. “It is a really strange…
Microcosmic Man Tired of Being Overlooked at Comic-Con
It’s only mid-January but the excitement and anticipation for Comic-Con 2013 is already building. Tights are being cleaned, claws sharpened, tickets purchased, and super-hearts broken. That’s right, humans aren’t the only ones who can get left out of this high-profile,…
Should the Federal Government Help New York & New Jersey Rebuild?
The northeast was recently devastated by super-storm Sandy and the local government has found that, unlike in other natural disasters, federal action and relief has been slow coming. To some it appears a matter of the politics of fiscal responsibility,…
SEATTLE: Wanted – Gun, Working or Not $100-$200
Are you in Seattle, or close enough to drive? Would like to take that gun off your hands, no questions asked. Will give you a $100-$200 Amazon gift card for it. Just bring it to me. Okay, not me, but…
U.S. Congressman defends citizen right to all weapons
U.S. Congressman Ted Yoho (Republican – Florida) has come out in favor of American citizens owning the same weapons as the U.S. military. “On guns, [my constituents] were saying that the sentiment, when you read the Second Amendment, is that…
NRA: Recent Home Shooting Proves we Should Arm All Homes
Our nation was rocked this week when it was discovered that three minors and two adults were murdered in a spree shooting in New Mexico, prompting the NRA to declare that all homes should have an armed guard. Bernalillo County…
Lance Armstrong Apologizes to Supporters, Fellow Cyclists for Getting Caught
CHICAGO, IL – In an open and honest interview with Oprah Winfrey, disgraced former cyclist Lance Armstrong admitted to doping and apologized to fellow professionals and his supporters for getting found out. During the interview, the first part of which…
Bill Maher’s Nose Declares Independence
Apparently it is now real time with Bill Maher…and his nose. California’s gossip channels are reporting that the famed comedian is facing a small insurrection on the face following his nose’s decision to formally declare independence. The now-infamous schnozzle has…
Joe Biden Appointed Secretary of Intermoronical Affairs
Vice President Joe Biden has reason to smile. Not only did the Delawarean Dynamo just get sworn into a second term of office; now Washington news organizations are reporting that Biden has been tapped to serve jointly as head of…
Teenager Opens Fire on Wayne LaPierre, Sean Hannity
National Rifle Association CEO and gun-rights martyr Wayne LaPierre likely was not expecting to be shot at as he celebrated the day after Gun Appreciation Day by shooting off his mouth with Sean Hannity on the Fox Comedy Network. LaPierre…