Lance Armstrong Apologizes to Supporters, Fellow Cyclists for Getting Caught

CHICAGO, IL – In an open and honest interview with Oprah Winfrey, disgraced former cyclist Lance Armstrong admitted to doping and apologized to fellow professionals and his supporters for getting found out.

During the interview, the first part of which was screened Thursday on the Oprah Winfrey Network, a remorseful Mr. Armstrong insisted that his decision not to sue The United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) for making doping claims against him is something he “highly regrets.”

“If I could turn back the clock, I would never have allowed fellow cyclists to gossip as much as they did,” said an emotional Armstrong, breaking down. “For allowing the press and the blogosphere to even speculate on my lack of professionalism is something I must live with forever. It was never… it was never my intention to get caught.”

The interview, which was witnessed by millions in the State of Illinois and the entire United States, was indeed very revealing.

In what proved a probing interview, Oprah asked the 41-year-old, who was recently stripped of his 7 Tour de France titles, whether he gained any discernible benefit from not contesting the charges brought against him.

“When I started developing into a prolific drug cheat, I knew I had to deny at all costs,” he continued. “But once this story progressed, once it became pretty much universally known that I had used performance-enhancing drugs, I started to feel this profound sense of guilt. How could I ever have allowed those idiots to find out?”

Meanwhile, Armstrong asserted that he will happily cooperate with the ongoing investigation into why he allowed UCI to gain such close access to his personal records.

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2 comments on “Lance Armstrong Apologizes to Supporters, Fellow Cyclists for Getting Caught

  1. I got caught cheating on a girl in high school. Let’s just say Oprah didn’t offer me millions to come clean about it.

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