Apparently it is now real time with Bill Maher…and his nose.

California’s gossip channels are reporting that the famed comedian is facing a small insurrection on the face following his nose’s decision to formally declare independence.

The now-infamous schnozzle has asked to be referred to only as Jeffrey in the media, and a successful court order argued on behalf of his nostrilness requires Maher to provide ample privacy by walking around with a nose blanket.

Murdoch News reporter Christine O’Donnell managed to catch up with Maher at LAX as he fought with his nose over whether or not to walk up a flight of steps. Once he regained control, the former Politically Incorrect host said:

“This is really proof my life sucks. I thought it was bad enough when my producers came up with the nickname ‘BM,’ but having to fight with my nostrils is a totally new level of horrible.”

Experts on such particular legal issues were mixed in their opinions of Maher’s chance at winning in court. Attorney Bob Cillia noted that “Bill sure is a badass…but the facts don’t really stack up on his side of the sinuses.”

On the other side, lawyer Muck Us suggested Maher has a fair shot at winning so long as “The supply of green doesn’t dry up.”

Seemingly in response, a legal defense fund has been set up in Maher’s interest by several of his friends, including Barbara Streisand, Sarah Jessica Parker and Adrien Brody.