Year: 2012
Julianna Rose from LazyTown (Stephanie) In Adult Modeling
First of all, you’re a terrible person for clicking this link. Sure, I’m a worse person for posting it, but I’ve done nothing illegal. The youngest girl I find attractive has to be about 27… so there you go. Stephanie…
Mexican Drug Cartel Goes Public
Wall Street, N.Y. – Joaquin Guzman, leader and CEO of the Sinaloa Drug Cartel, the largest and one of the most powerful drug cartels in the world, has initiated an IPO (Initial Public Offering) underwritten by the investment bank, Goldman…
Notes On Tolerance — Welcome to Reality
It happened recently, after a long day of free-speech-practicing, that I had occasion to give advice to a person much younger than myself regarding language. This young person, though potentially very bright, was experiencing some confusion over the ubiquity of…
VP Dick Cheney Injured In Freak Duck Hunting Accident
Tyler, Wyoming – (GlossyNews.com) – Ex-vice president Dick Cheney, an avid bird hunter who has helped his post heart transplant surgery by getting back outdoors, was injured in a freak accident duck hunting at one of the lakes in rural…
Leaked Torture Study Truly Unbelievable
What follows is an excerpt from a leaked torture study titled Judicious Use of Cognitive and Physical Trauma to Elicit Psychic Response–By Dr.Gunter Chang. This is not for the feint of heart or the wobbly of knees. Read ahead with…
I Bought My Computer, But Bill Gates Still Owns It
At least that’s the way it seems… I bought my Sony Vaio Mini (which I am happy with except for its unfortunate affiliation with the a fore mentioned gentleman) after a bad run of karma with my prior two computers….
SatireWorld to give out free Mayan Calendars To Celebrate The Apocalypse
(SatireWorld.com) – One of the web’s leading satire sites has broken new ground in promoting its site by offering a free gift to readers… In this case a free Mayan Calendar! Since December 21, 2012 is the supposed end of…
Jackie Chan’s Rush Hour 4 Stalled?
While promoting their newest film Rush Hour 4 in New York City yesterday, Jackie Chan apparently became enraged at Chris Tucker’s self-promotion as the “star” of the franchise and strangled him to death in front of hundreds of shocked on-lookers.
Founding Fathers Protest Holmes-Cruise Divorce
This news site previously reported that the recent rising from the grave by America’s Founding Fathers was in direct protest of the Supreme Court ruling that declared the Affordable Care Act constitutional. As stated by Founding Father and second President…
Goodbye BobZaguy…
CHICAGO, IL – EBBQ – Today GlossyNews lost one of its most faithful and cherished writers, Bob Rohden, aka BobZaguy. While I wish this were a roast instead of a eulogy, and I only knew Bobz (as I affectionately called…