Tyler, Wyoming – (GlossyNews.com) – Ex-vice president Dick Cheney, an avid bird hunter who has helped his post heart transplant surgery by getting back outdoors, was injured in a freak accident duck hunting at one of the lakes in rural Wyoming. According to close friends, Cheney recently was out on the marsh for a weekend of hunting with friends and some staffers. As circumstance would have it, he decided to relieve himself against a pine tree… That’s when troubled brewed.
According to Lester Fine, a life-long guide and friend of the VP’s, Cheney walked over to a nearby pine tree and propped up his gun against the rough bark. Suddenly, an errant gust of wind blew the shotgun over and it fell toward the ground. As he tried to grab it the shotgun accidentally discharged, shooting Chenery squarely in the genitals.
The shot was heard by other friends who rushed the unconscious Cheney to a nearby hospital in Cheyenne.
Several hours later, while lying comfortably in a hospital bed, Cheney was approached by his surgeon Dr. Edwin P. Morse.
“Since most men would ask the same question after receiving so many pellets into their body, Cheney immediately asked about the condition of his private parts and was reassured that he was receiving the best of care at Saint Andrews Surgical Hospital.”
Dr. Morse explained as Cheney intently listened, “Well, Mr. Vice President, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was localized to your groin area, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”
“So, what’s the bad news?” asked Cheney, now a little worried.
Dr. Morse: “The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I’m going to have to refer you to my brother for further treatment.”
“Oh, well I guess that isn’t too bad,” Cheney replied with some relief in his voice, “is your brother a plastic surgeon?”
“Mmmmm, not exactly. He’s a piccolo player in our local symphony orchestra and he’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye.”
ED NOTE: Bargis Tryhol is a seasoned writer famous for his parodies on those walkers who trod the’left-side-of-the-street.’ Please visit his outrageous website for more fun and a chance to win big prizes!www.satireworld.com
You people at Glossy News are crazy! Have you heard what they did with Cheney’s old heart? Apparently the Queen of England ate it. She eats organ meat to give her cheeks a certain ruddiness, and her body extra vitality. I hadn’t heard of Cheney’s accidental genital-shooting.
Getting shot in the genitals won’t do him any damage.