Year: 2012
Mitt Romney Can’t Possibly Be That Dumb – Reaction From England
As the election campaign gathers pace, and the Republican Party appear to be exposing their inherent incompetency, a British correspondent expressed utter disbelief that any candidate for the Presidency, without doubt the most influential position in the world, could possibly…
Dershowitz Breaks Mideast Deadlock, Promises to Fix
The Israeli daily newspaper Haaretz announced September 25, 2012, that Harvard law professor and Israel advocate Alan Dershowitz had broken the deadlock between Israel and the Palestinian Authority with a revolutionary new plan for a settlement freeze. Details of the…
Review of Motorola’s Amazing DynaTac 8000
First off I want to thank Motorola for sending me this phone. I know they are having a hard time keeping these in stock due to popular demand. To start with, I plugged the DynaTac into my clothes dryer outlet…
Lewd, Lascivious Lawyer Legal Literature
A LEWD, LASCIVIOUS LOOK AT OUR LOCAL LAW LIBRARY. They say that lawyers are a breed apart. In fact, we should wonder if they should really even be considered a part of the human species at all, especially as evidenced…
Madden Players Association in Heated Lockout
GREENVILLE, NC – Sports media has covered many lockouts over the years, but have yet to address the major Madden ’13 lockout that is intensifying in many homes across the country. The lockout occurred after EA sports stopped providing catered…
Guy Discovers Breaking Bad, Thinks He’s Broken Bad
Jason Rosen, a casual TV watcher from Wichita, Kansas, recently discovered the AMC original series “Breaking Bad” through Netflix, and now thinks he is a hardened man of the world. “When I see Skylar bust [Walter’s] balls, I think to…
Looper Movie Review
Looper is an amazing movie. Though you have to see the first one to make much sense of it, newcomers will be pleasantly surprised as well. Looper is set in a fantastic world filled with trees and blue people. These…
Gwen Stefani’s Belly Button Demands More Money
LOS ANGELES – According to TMZ, Gwen Stefani’s belly button has started intense negotiations with the singer in an attempt to receive more compensation. Despite doing absolutely nothing except being attached to Stefani’s body, the belly button (which is asking…
Burger King, Dairy Queen Conclude Royal Tour of Man’s Intestines
FORT WAYNE – The ruling monarchs of the fast food industry, Burger King and Dairy Queen, concluded their recent tour of local man Patrick McMillan’s small intestine Thursday, ending a successful domestic engagement. The Royals were also treated to a…
Victory a Result of Man Shouting ‘Go Colts’ at TV
INDIANAPOLIS – The Indianapolis Colts secured a hard-earned victory against the Minnesota Vikings on Week 2 of the new NFL season Sunday, attributing their victory to local man Justin Thacker, who persistently yelled “go Colts” at his television screen throughout…