Victory a Result of Man Shouting ‘Go Colts’ at TV

INDIANAPOLIS – The Indianapolis Colts secured a hard-earned victory against the Minnesota Vikings on Week 2 of the new NFL season Sunday, attributing their victory to local man Justin Thacker, who persistently yelled “go Colts” at his television screen throughout the 3-hour broadcast.

Initially, it was believed that the impressive victory came about as a result of the team’s considerable work ethic, months of pre-season preparation and valiant individual prowess.

RIGHT: The game-winning fan in question is pictured here, along with the game he was so instrumental in winning. (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

However, upon hearing Thacker constructively advise him to “throw the ball already,” new Colts quarterback Andrew Luck says he “suddenly became more determined than ever to win this damn match.”

“I just don’t know how we would have got it done without Mr Thacker,” said Luck in a post-game interview. “Feeding off of his mindless passion for the sport was absolutely what sealed the victory for us in the end.”

Meanwhile, Colts head coach Chuck Pagano was quick to dismiss reports that Mr Thacker’s game-long chanting had also contributed to the Colts’ defeat in game 1 to the Chicago Bears.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

3 thoughts on “Victory a Result of Man Shouting ‘Go Colts’ at TV

  1. The Mariners used to win because I kept my arms crossed during at-bats… what, that’s a real thing.

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