Posted in Politics

GA Exit Polls Show Honey Boo Boo Leading Twinkies

GlossyNews.com – GEORGIA – Exit polls conducted throughout the state of Georgia are showing reality TV starlet and shaved Gremlin Honey Boo Boo holding a slight lead over the well known snack Twinkies in the race for the White House….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! GA Exit Polls Show Honey Boo Boo Leading Twinkies
Posted in Politics

Gary Johnson Ahead 99 pts Among Non-Voters

GlossyNews.com – OHIO – In a stunning revelation, Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson is leading the nation by 99 points among people who have not voted, will not vote, or for other legal reasons cannot vote. “So you mean this…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gary Johnson Ahead 99 pts Among Non-Voters
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Romney Ahead 99 Pts Among Those Who Think Twinkies are Vegetables

GlossyNews.com – CINCINNATI – The latest exit polls are showing Mitt Romney is leading President Obama by an estimated 99 points among voters who think Twinkies are a vegetable. The results would have actually been 100% but when one Romney…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney Ahead 99 Pts Among Those Who Think Twinkies are Vegetables
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Republicans Demand NASCAR Observers at Polling Places

GlossyNews.com – TALLADEGA – Republicans in The Deep South are demanding that NASCAR officials be sent to all polling places to ensure a fair election. Talladega Republican Party Chairman Larry “big cheese” Nelson said, “We can’t risk our people not…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Republicans Demand NASCAR Observers at Polling Places
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Romney Promises to Stop Gorbachev from Building Catapult

GlossyNews.com – BOSTON – In a last ditch effort to win over undecided voters, Mitt Romney today promised to stop a former leader of a defunct country from building an archaic weapon capable of hitting a non-existent state. At his…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney Promises to Stop Gorbachev from Building Catapult
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Republicans Crucify Jesus for Offering Free Healthcare

BILOXI – People were shocked when a strange light was seen in the sky yesterday. Many wondered if it was a meteor. However, the light that fell to earth was none other than Jesus Christ himself. The Christian leader landed…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Republicans Crucify Jesus for Offering Free Healthcare