Burger King, Dairy Queen Conclude Royal Tour of Man’s Intestines

FORT WAYNE – The ruling monarchs of the fast food industry, Burger King and Dairy Queen, concluded their recent tour of local man Patrick McMillan’s small intestine Thursday, ending a successful domestic engagement.

The Royals were also treated to a glimpse of the 27-year-old’s stomach and food pipe during the extensive 2-day visit, which also saw them engage with dignitaries from The Coca Cola Company and Nestle.

RIGHT: The local man in question, as well as his favorite crappening hole where he picked up the so-called “foodstuffs.” (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

“It has been a successful tour,” said Burger King’s official spokesman, Bernard Hees. “Mr. McMillan’s digestive system was extremely accommodating to the Royal family, who remain eternally grateful for its generous hospitality.”

After departing from Mr. McMillan’s anus this morning, the Royals are scheduled to meet with various guests at the local sewer plant.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

2 thoughts on “Burger King, Dairy Queen Conclude Royal Tour of Man’s Intestines

  1. I think you are rose-tinting their visit just a little bit, I heard reports that they had a nasty run in with some undigested sweetcorn protesters.

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