Gwen Stefani’s Belly Button Demands More Money

LOS ANGELES – According to TMZ, Gwen Stefani’s belly button has started intense negotiations with the singer in an attempt to receive more compensation.

Despite doing absolutely nothing except being attached to Stefani’s body, the belly button (which is asking to be referred to as Suzie) is demanding a 50% increase in her daily stipend and a larger assortment of jewelery.

The belly button is also demanding her own camera crew and a meeting with reality show executives. “Look, everyone knows that I’m the real talent behind Gwen. She would just be another female pop star if it wasn’t for my amazing beauty. And she knows it! That’s why she always flaunts me to the world,” said the belly button.

A source revealed that the spat began on stage during a No Doubt performance on the Ellen Show. Reports indicate that the belly button attempted to sing over Stefani during the first song forcing Stefani to sing louder to try and drown out the rant. Stefani reportedly covered the belly button with duct tape and wore a long shirt for the next song. Some crowd members could allegedly still hear the button’s muffled screams for attention.

The belly button was reportedly screaming out, “Don’t you people see!? I’m the real star here! You’re looking at me more than her anyway!” After the two walked off stage, Stefani reportedly called security to have her belly button removed from the building but security refused to cut it off.

Author: Mark Garrison

Mark Garrison is both a loving husband, a devoted father, and a steadfast rebel when it comes to the word "both." His work has appeared in Opium Magazine, Monkeybicycle, and many other places with interesting names.

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