‘Over 150 Survivors Were Trapped Inside The Titanic For Up To 5 Years,’ Claims Naval Expert

Woods Hole, MA – (SatireWorld.com) – After reviewing almost 5,000 digital photographs taken from inside the sunken luxury liner the Titanic, a Woods Hole scientist has concluded that there were survivors who lived inside the ship for up to five years after it slipped beneath the waves on April 14th, 1912. Read more ‘Over 150 Survivors Were Trapped Inside The Titanic For Up To 5 Years,’ Claims Naval Expert

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Indianapolis Convention & Visitors Association Video Ties Indianapolis Colts

A music video that was produced by the Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Association, lost on Tuesday, November 29, officially tying the Indianapolis Colts’ current season record of no wins, all losses.

The video, entitled “Indy Super Bowl Shuffle,” parodies a nearly thirty year-old music video and song by the Chicago Bears, and features a cast of local hotel employees lip-syncing and dancing in an attempt to depict Indianapolis as a “fun,” “cosmopolitan,” and “world-class” destination. Read more Indianapolis Convention & Visitors Association Video Ties Indianapolis Colts

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Fiscal Cliff More Popular than Niagara Falls

It’s official. The Fiscal Cliff has overtaken Niagara Falls as America’s favorite tourist destination.

District of Columbia Mayor Vincent Gray was delighted to announce that his city is home to the newest Washington attraction.

“Given that we’ve got all those monuments and the Smithsonian,” said Gray. “It’s a thrill to see so many people lining up to look over the Fiscal Cliff.” Read more Fiscal Cliff More Popular than Niagara Falls

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Economic Struggle Forces Mary, Joseph to Merge Christ’s B-day, Christmas Presents Into One

BETHLEHEM – Citing financial hardship amid the ongoing global economic downturn, Mary and Joseph – the parents of Jesus Christ – have conceded that they will have to merge their only son’s birthday and Christmas presents into one.

After years of making sure that Christ – whose birthday happens to fall on Christmas Day – always gets a least one present for each occasion, the couple insisted that they just cannot afford the extra plunge this year. Read more Economic Struggle Forces Mary, Joseph to Merge Christ’s B-day, Christmas Presents Into One

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Federal Warning Over Agressive Toys

This morning the federal government issued warnings to parents over toys that are currently being sold for the holiday season which may pose a potential harm to their families.

The revised Furby animated toy has been identified in several dangerous incidents involving both children and adults in recent weeks.

A revision to a toy that had been easily incorporated into the family several years ago, the newest version has evolved into a creature that no longer is bound to just blinking at you and uttering synthesized syllables. Read more Federal Warning Over Agressive Toys

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Angus T. Jones Proves Sheen Wasn’t the Real Crazy

Erstwhile chubster and modern day mini-hunk Angus T. Jones, best known as the child Charlie Sheen molested on Two and a Half Men made waves this week when he turned on his handlers and devoured whole his own career.

The child actor best known for playing third-fiddle behind Jon Cryer spoke out at a christian event, decrying the show that pays him $350,000 per 22-minutes of production as evil, demonic and “truly Sheenish”. Read more Angus T. Jones Proves Sheen Wasn’t the Real Crazy

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White House Agrees To Texas Secession, Perry Now King

In a surprising announcement late this evening, the White House announced it’s decision to let the state of Texas secede from the union.

This was reportedly in response to the numerous signatures that were attached to a petition that was submitted to the White House web site earlier this month. When a petition crosses the 25,000 signature mark, it warrants a response.

Right: Newly crowned King of Texas Rick Perry. Click to enlarge. Read more White House Agrees To Texas Secession, Perry Now King

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