Economic Struggle Forces Mary, Joseph to Merge Christ’s B-day, Christmas Presents Into One

BETHLEHEM – Citing financial hardship amid the ongoing global economic downturn, Mary and Joseph – the parents of Jesus Christ – have conceded that they will have to merge their only son’s birthday and Christmas presents into one.

After years of making sure that Christ – whose birthday happens to fall on Christmas Day – always gets a least one present for each occasion, the couple insisted that they just cannot afford the extra plunge this year.

“It’s going to be difficult to break it to him,” said Mary – the child’s only biological parent. “But after putting our stable on the market this past November, we honestly have no choice but to put our finances first.”

“It’s just been a really difficult year. I hope he understands.”

Christ, who is well known for preaching forgiveness, will have to put his teachings into practice come Christmas morning when faced with a stocking containing just a copy of the New Testament and an orange.

“Hopefully, if the job situation improves, we’ll be able to spoil him a little bit more next year,” said Joseph, whose carpentry business has struggled to stay afloat since the recession of 2008. “But he has to understand we cannot just go crazy like we used to. It just wouldn’t be fiscally responsible.”

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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