Newspapers Sleep with the Fishes

MIAMI–Newspapers became unwitting casualties of Black Friday after holiday shoppers swore off traditional sales marketing to shop discounts by smartphone.

“I got the paper once a week, on Sundays and only for the coupons,” said one early morning shopper. “No more. With my phone, I can download my store app of choice and voila! No scissors, no messy ink-stained hands, no coupon organizer and best of all, no more bad news I can’t do anything about!”

That viewpoint is particularly bad news for print journalism. Nationwide, newspapers reported a sharp increase in cancellations over the first week of holiday shopping as subscribers pitched aside papers featuring sales, sales and more sales to sidle up to the ease and delight of the always updated get your store install here!

“I liked the paper for the Jumble also,” the shopper continued. “But I’ve got an app for that now, too.” Smiling, she flashed her phone. “Look, I’m one scan away from 50% off any one regular priced item over at Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Store. Gotta love technology!”

Rosebud.

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