Indianapolis Convention & Visitors Association Video Ties Indianapolis Colts

A music video that was produced by the Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Association, lost on Tuesday, November 29, officially tying the Indianapolis Colts’ current season record of no wins, all losses.

The video, entitled “Indy Super Bowl Shuffle,” parodies a nearly thirty year-old music video and song by the Chicago Bears, and features a cast of local hotel employees lip-syncing and dancing in an attempt to depict Indianapolis as a “fun,” “cosmopolitan,” and “world-class” destination.

The passionately scorned video premiered on Youtube late in the afternoon, and was removed by its creators at 9:30pm that same evening, which is roughly the amount of time it has taken the Indianapolis Colts to lose each of their games this season.

“Everyone in the Indianapolis Shufflin’ Crew was confident the video would serve as both a rallying cry for Indianapolis tourism and our team,” said Rob Jefferson, spokesperson for the ICVA. “Given our city’s current reputation and the Colt’s losing streak, the stakes were very high, so we took inspiration from an episode of ‘Growing Pains,’ which is a show we agreed we all love and kind of remember. We thought about that one time Alan Thicke’s character faced a similar challenge, and just went for it.”

ICVA officials cited a flurry of online responses marked by near-psychotic levels contempt and ridicule as its reason for removing the video. Such responses, which characterized the video as “sloppy,” “hopelessly amateur,” “pathetic,” and an “irrecoverable blemish on any semblance of a reputation beyond a troglodytic backwater Indianapolis would aspire to have,” bore a striking resemblance to general consensus on the Colt’s season-long performance this season.

“Unfortunately, now we, and by extension every single person who lives, has lived, or visited Indianapolis looks more like the Boner from that one episode of ‘Growing Pains,’” added Jefferson. “Or like the Colts. We probably should have gone with our runner-up idea.”

The runner-up idea in question was “Like a Superbowl Virgin,” a parody of the song “Like a Virgin” by Madonna, who is slated to perform at the half-time show of the 2012 Super Bowl. Officials with the ICVA had gone as far as to volunteer Westin Director of Housekeeping Operations Gwen Carbingle, 61, to portray the Madonna in the video. “If you see Gwen,” said Jefferson, “you’d know she’s a real ‘Material Girl.’”

However, the idea was ultimately rejected on the grounds of being “too soon.”

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