Month: November 2012
Zombies Found Roaming Chain Stores Black Friday Weekend
Reports have been coming in from across the country of a rash of zombie-like masses rushing about specific chain stores in large communities in a feeding like frenzy. Zombieologists, a newly developed scientific category that specifically studies zomboid type manifestations…
Arafat’s Body Missing
Ramallah, Occupied West Bank – Scientists and legal experts from Switzerland, France and Russia were shocked today to discover Yassar Arafat’s body missing from his tomb in Ramallah. The international community struggled to come up with a theory about what…
Local Man Pretty Sure He Has Seen Character Actor in Other Things
INDIANAPOLIS – Sitting down to watch the 2009 film The Young Victoria with his wife Angela, local man Andrew Collins insisted that he definitely recognizes that one character actor from somewhere, but where? Not quite able to place where in…
Large-eyed Child Gets Surgery
Eleven-year-old Olivia Miller of Gopher’s Gulch, Nebraska recently underwent delicate eye-reduction surgery in order to save her life. “We are all so grateful,” said Olivia’s mother. “For years, her eyes were bigger than her stomach and she insisted on putting…
CIA Internal Advisory: Secure Communications Guidelines
Dear colleagues, In light of recent developments, we would like to advise all agency personnel about the use of certain communications channels and processes which may not be sufficiently secure. Please pay attention to the new guidelines below. 1. Don’t…
Russia Press Reports UFO Debris Found In Siberian Forest
Otradnensky, Siberia – (SatireWorld.com) The 6-foot wide metal cylinder partially made of titanium steel was found near Otradnensky, a village two thousand miles from Moscow. Locals have labeled it as space junk, a UFO fragment, or the fuel tank of…
Glossy News Scoop: First Ever Interview w/ the One and only James Bond
Glossy News has succeeded in scoring the first ever interview with that icon of masculinity and daring do, that virile epitome of super secret spydom, that name that causes gorgeous women’s inner plumbing to contract in excited anticipation, the one,…
Marriage Tip: When Black Friday Shopping, Avoid Impulse Purchases
It started out innocently enough. My wife asked me to go to Costco because we were low on shampoo. Perhaps I should not have gone on Black Friday, when Costco had everything on sale. The second I breached the entrance…
Black Friday Leads To ‘Gotta Throw a Lot of Crap Out Yellow Tuesday’
The intense focus on post Thanksgiving retail selling initiated by Black Friday has now been one-upped by Walmart’s new play of starting specials on Thanksgiving night, thus luring people out of their homes on a major family holiday. It also…
Exclusive Interview: Dean Chambers of UnskewedPolls.com
Today, GlossyNews.com has the unique opportunity to present an interview with Dean Chambers from UnskewedPolls.com. And yes, this is a real interview. For the sake of proof we asked Dean to provide a photo of himself, and what you see…