Month: October 2012
Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment
Facebook vigilante, Bobby D. Foster’s has struck yet another Senator. The unprovoked Facebook comment reads as follows: Dear Senator Manchin, I just wanted to inform you that I am quite disappointed that your chin is not as manly as you…
NHL Lockout Takes Center Stage at Debate
Undecided voter Mervin Dodson of Hempstead, New York was sadly disappointed by his participation in Tuesday night’s Presidential debate. “Of course I was thrilled to be selected as one of the dozens of undecided voters to participate in the debate,”…
Mitt Romney Vows To Create Armageddon
GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced today that, if elected, he promises to fulfill the Bible’s promise of Armageddon and allow all faithful Mormon practitioners to achieve Rapture. “The time for Armageddon is nigh!” Romney stated to some of his…
The People’s Republic of Uzupis Takes Political Independence to New Heights
THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF UZUPIS – In 1991 the people of Lithuania declared their independence from the Soviet Union. In 1997 the people of Uzupis, a district of Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, declared their independence from Lithuania and got…
Senator Alexander’s Facebook Falls Victim to Mildly Harassing Comment
Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander has reportedly suffered a mildly harassing comment on his official Facebook profile. The offending remark was in response to an article the Senator posted which warned against the dangers of the looming fiscal cliff. The following…
Shepard Smith to Leave FOX News Over Harassment?
Shepard Smith, long time Fox News Anchor and deeply closeted homosexual, announced today that he will be leaving the Republican broadcasting network at the end of his current contract. Sometimes considered the only voice of reason on the network, his…
Student Cramming in Some Last Minute Procrastination
MUNCIE, IN – Ahead of his first midterm exam Monday, Ball State University English major, Ross O’Keefe, was hard at work Sunday cramming in some much-needed and last minute procrastination. Equipping himself with the tools required to compose a detailed…
Stephanie from LazyTown Arrested for Prostitution?
Julianna Rose Mauriello, the actress best known for her bubbly portrayal as Stephanie on the erstwhile children’s program LazyTown was picked up at 2:36am Tuesday morning on the charge of “trespassing with criminal intent” in Virginia. READ ALSO: • Julianna…
Michael Jackson’s Updated Autopsy Results Released
Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Dr. Rami Gushinari finally released to the public the official 25 page LA Coroner’s report on Michael Jackson. The ‘King of Pop’ died from a drug overdose and was laid to rest in Woodlawn Cemetery…
“Roof of My Mouth Feels Pruny” Says Man on Mushrooms
William Bergerson, a 22-year-old student at the University of Michigan, recently told this Glossy News reporter that the roof of his mouth “totally feels pruny.” He was tripping on mushrooms at the time, but insisted that had nothing to do…