Student Cramming in Some Last Minute Procrastination

MUNCIE, IN – Ahead of his first midterm exam Monday, Ball State University English major, Ross O’Keefe, was hard at work Sunday cramming in some much-needed and last minute procrastination.

Equipping himself with the tools required to compose a detailed essay on literary criticism, with particular reference to the works of Mark Twain, the 18-year-old spent a good portion of Sunday night dicking around on Facebook.

“You know, these midterms really will determine whether I continue on doing this course, or whether I switch out my major for something else,” said O’Keefe, while simultaneously liking friend Sebastian Caldwell’s status about the season premiere of Walking Dead. “So obviously a lot is riding on… oh man, I wish I had a TV in my room.”

According to friends of the student, O’Keefe went on to prepare copious notes on the subject of foregrounding in the various poetic works of E.E. Cummings by watching the latest parody of Gangnam Style on YouTube.

“He told us that he was paying particular attention to Cummings’ first collection, Tulips and Chimneys,” said fellow student, Samantha Kray. “He must have done a lot of research, because he was on his computer for hours and hours.”

Meanwhile, realizing that he wasn’t so strong on the latter works of F. Scott Fitzgerald, O’Keefe thereafter decided to “pull an all-nighter” in a late effort to catch up with his best friend from back home, Tom Willard.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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