Month: October 2012
Holy Lord, We’re the 2nd Longest Running Satire Site
“Holy tap-dancing Christ,” said editor Brian K. White on Monday, when he realized that GlossyNews.com is in fact the second longest running satire site on the internet. “There were so many greats that came before us, and sure it was…
OJ Simpson Claims ‘Prison More Fun Since Jerry Sandusky Arrived’
Pennsylvania Penal System – (SatireWorld.com) Convict number 183996, also known as OJ Simpson, has confided to friends through his letters and censored emails that prison is now a lot more fun! In an article in Prison Life Magazine, the ex-football…
Airports Taking Customers For More of a Ride Than Ever
Airports, seeking to get more money out of passengers exiting through their gates on international flights, have come up with inventive new ways of sucking the money out of their pockets. RIGHT: This is not a video, but a photo……
Oh, the Rovanity
FORT LAUDERDALE–Tumult ensued following initial reports that the crash of a Mitt Romney blimp was instead determined to be the explosion of Karl Rove’s much talked about brain. The head of the conservative political analyst and FOX NEWS favorite spontaneously…
Romney: ‘As President, I Will Put a Man On Mars By 2014’
WASHINGTON D.C. – In an effort to bolster support for his campaign ahead of next month’s presidential election, Republican candidate Mitt Romney has vowed to put a man on the surface of Mars by the year 2014. Speaking at a…
GlossyNews Announces 2012 Presidential Endorsement… Not Who You Think
In 2008 we endorsed then-senator Barack Obama, but apparently it is best form to consult with our staff before reaching such a weighty decision. For 2012 I requested an endorsement statement from all 127 of our writers, and the endorsements…
Hollywood: Remade (Electric Boogaloo)
After years and years of poor Hollywood remakes the film capital of the world has decided that Hollywood, itself, needs a remake. Set for release in November 2015 the Hollywood remake will see star-studded town set in downtown Detroit, with…
Romney Surging in Latest Poll of Comatose Unregistered Voters
In recent polls, President Obama continues to lead with several key demographic categories: women, blacks, Hispanics, gays, people under 25, people over 25, people who can do basic math, people who can identify Canada on a map, and people who…
Romney to Sway Female Voters by Showing Compassion, Penis
Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today unveiled his new plan to persuade female voters to back his bid for the White House by showing them two things that have thus far remained firmly hidden: his compassionate, caring side and his…
Company that “Downloads the Internet to Your Phone” Shuttered
Little known software maker, Webaroo, has recently shuttered its operations. The founders, pictured to the right, in the traditional robes of psychedelic priests, have reportedly spent all of the $7.5 million dollars of funding they received on obscure research chemicals,…