Month: October 2012
Frustrated Voter Questions Paul Ryan’s Birth
Frustrated voter Dixon Notch of Plainville, Ohio has raised a complaint about Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan. “I’ve got a problem with Mitt Romney’s pick of Paul Ryan,” said Notch. “It’s not Ryan’s right-wing conservative views on things like abortion…
“We Can’t Allow the People to Steal This Election”
The right of money to decide elections is being tested in Richmond, California (pop. 105,000), a suburb of San Francisco and Oakland. In a clear rebuke to American-style democracy, millions of dollars from huge corporations may prove inadequate to win…
Senator Rubio’s Facebook Falls Victim to Mildly Harassing Comment
Freshman U.S. Senator Marco Rubio has reportedly suffered a mildly harassing comment on his official Facebook profile. The offending remark was in response to an article the Senator posted which claimed, “Rubio slams Obama, Biden on economy.” The following is…
Big Bird Found Dead, Romney Questioned
The Muppets character Big Bird was found dead today in his duplex cage on New York City’s Upper East Side. New York City police have not announced a cause of death, but according to anonymous insiders, the 43-year old television…
E-Z Home Water Boarding Kit a Favorite w/ Parents This Season
Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com) The amazing E-Z Home Waterboarding Kit has broken all sales records as parents across the US snapped up a kit for their personal use at home. Children and teens everywhere are now easily spilling the beans…
Pioneering Restaurant “Leftovers” Offers Low Prices, Leftovers
A new restaurant chain called Leftovers recently opened in downtown San Jose, California. Imagine going to your favorite deli and getting a sandwich with a big bite mark it in; most customers would be confused or infuriated, but not at…
Sad, Non-Swing States Desperate for Campaign Funds
With an estimated $2billion in campaign cash being spent around the country, economies are suffering in non-swing states. Marketers from the nation’s bluest and reddest states are making fevered pitches with just weeks to go until election day, and some…
Hacker McKinnon Facing Extradition to Jabba the Hutt’s Planet
British computer hacker Gary McKinnon, whose extradition to the US was blocked on humanitarian grounds by UK Home Secretary Theresa May today, now faces a prospect nearly as terrifying: being sent for punishment on the alien planet of Tatooine. McKinnon…
Family Research Council: Maryland Lawyers, Prepare for Divorce Workload
In an email sent to several law firms in Maryland, the Family Research Council (FRC) advised that should the marriage equality referendum pass on November 6th, they will be overrun with requests for divorce from currently married men. This warning…
Newspapers Decline as Baked Beans Continue to Boom
New figures show the continuing decline of print newspaper circulation all over the world. Circulation is down a further 15% from last year’s figures, meaning that fewer people are buying a newspaper. Professor John McDonald, department head of the scientific…