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Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment

Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment

Facebook vigilante, Bobby D. Foster’s has struck yet another Senator.

The unprovoked Facebook comment reads as follows:

Dear Senator Manchin,

I just wanted to inform you that I am quite disappointed that your chin is not as manly as you name suggests. Have a nice day.

-BDF

The actual comment can be found here on Facebook.

The Senator has reportedly not shown up to a single congressional session since he read the post last Thursday.

“I don’t know,” said Senator Lindsey Graham when asked about his colleague’s disappearance, “His chin’s manliness was everything to Joe. I mean, it’s part of his family name, for the love of Christ. I guess he just lost it after seeing that comment—had a total meltdown.”

I later caught up with the Senator standing waist-deep and stark naked in the middle of the National Mall Reflecting Pool.

“Excuse me, Senator Manchin, but what happened when…”

“There is no Manchin anymore,” interrupted the Senator.

He had a glazed, thousand-yard look in his eyes and stood stock still throughout the length of the interview.

“Joe Manchin III is gone.”

“Why do you say that, Senator?”

“Because, without a manly chin, how can there be a Manchin?”

“What happened?”

“I’ve decided that, since I can no longer do justice to my last name, I’ll take one that I can actually honor.”

“And what name would that be, Senator?”

“Joe Lillypad.”

“So you’re telling me that you’ve decided to become…”

“A lily pad, yes.”

“How is that going for you?”

“Well a frog sat on my head about an hour ago, so pretty good, I guess.”

“I see. Thank you for your time, Senator.”

Interestingly enough, it does not appear that the Senator’s newfound occupation as an aquatic plant has had the least effect on his historical performance as a congressperson.

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One Response to “Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment”

  1. Mike Kelly says:

    Dare I say, “chin up Joe, it will get better.”

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