Posted in Environment Human Interest

A Bag For Life Not Just For Christmas

Following the extremely successful campaign ‘A Dog is For Life Not Just For Christmas’ the Dogs Trust have strayed a little from their charter by embracing the same slogan for ‘bag for life’. The Dogs Trust have found that there…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! A Bag For Life Not Just For Christmas
Posted in War Zone World News

Syrian President’s Approval Rating Plummets to Record Low 112%

DAMASCUS – As bloodshed continues to spread across Damascus and outlying regions of Syria, the country’s embattled President Bashar al-Assad has seen his approval rating plummet to a record low of 112% – with thousands more protesters taking to the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Syrian President’s Approval Rating Plummets to Record Low 112%
Posted in Technology

Too Much Data? Google To Lease Storage Space In People’s Heads

Internet giant Google has come up with a solution to its data storage problems. The exponential growth in the use of the Internet has caused many of the top web site facilities to experience excruciating problems with where to put…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Too Much Data? Google To Lease Storage Space In People’s Heads
Posted in Making Headlines

Rush Limbaugh Loses It

Claims Barack Obama is former member of Insane Clown Posse, and has pictures to back it up.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Rush Limbaugh Loses It
Posted in Health

The End of Freedom in America. Blame it on the Tyranny of Obamacare

If you’re like most patriotic, big government-distrusting Americans, you are probably experiencing a range of emotions right now, from anger to rage to angerful rage. It’s a dark day in America thanks to the dreaded OBAMACARE Act of 2010, which…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The End of Freedom in America. Blame it on the Tyranny of Obamacare
Posted in Talky Pictures

Major Continuity Error in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Sees Batman Unveil Really High Pitched Voice

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Having lined up for four hours to watch the latest installment of the Batman saga Thursday, fans of the series were left stunned as a major continuity flaw saw Christian Bale introduce a significantly higher register to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Major Continuity Error in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Sees Batman Unveil Really High Pitched Voice
Posted in Crime Society

World Stops to Mourn Victims of Theater Shooting

“It was weird,” Hector Santiago, a thug for a Mexican drug cartel, said through a translator, “I could tell something just happened – something more important – because suddenly I knew I couldn’t kill this police officer; it would make…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! World Stops to Mourn Victims of Theater Shooting
Posted in Strange People

Charlton Heston Returns From Grave To Protect Colorad Gun Rights Despite Batman Theater Shootings

The iconic movie matinee idol Charlton Heston has risen from the dead like a neo Jesus Christ to stick up for his National Rifle Association buddies after a gunman shot 70 people, killing 12 including children, at a midnight Batman…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Charlton Heston Returns From Grave To Protect Colorad Gun Rights Despite Batman Theater Shootings
Posted in Human Interest Kidz Zone

Historic Accord Reached in Siblings’ Bitter Territorial Dispute

In major concessions by both sides, boy agrees to stop touching sister’s stuff in exchange for her ceasing to refer to him as “Snot Face.”  SPOKANE, WA – Negotiators are expressing hopes for a new era of reconciliation and peaceful…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Historic Accord Reached in Siblings’ Bitter Territorial Dispute
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

Freaking Journalist Agitates Candidates, Deemed “Terrorist”

Police are on the look out for a rouge freelance journalist suspected of reckless disregard of media protocol and assault with a rhetorical question. The unknown journalist first struck at a Romney campaign stop in New Hampshire and asked about…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Freaking Journalist Agitates Candidates, Deemed “Terrorist”
Posted in Crime

Shocking Crime Wave Blows Across Nation

A terrifying new criminal is on the loose and officials appear powerless to stop him. In a small town in the UK an elderly gentleman was thrown to his knees and robbed of his newspaper that he had only just purchased. Battered and shaken he shared his shocking ordeal.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Shocking Crime Wave Blows Across Nation
Posted in Strange People

Being Attacked By A Horde Of Blood Maddened Zombies Is Not Fun

Hello folks. How are things going for you? That’s good. At the moment I am hold up in an abandoned farmhouse in the Midwest. I have it boarded up and sealed off as much as possible. I don’t do this…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Being Attacked By A Horde Of Blood Maddened Zombies Is Not Fun
Posted in Politics

The Nine Things Mitt Romney is Hiding in His Tax Returns

Anne Romney took to the talk shows to defend her husbands historically unprecedented decision not to release his tax returns. “You know, you should really look at where Mitt has led his life, and where he’s been financially,” she said…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Nine Things Mitt Romney is Hiding in His Tax Returns
Posted in Health

Following Cannibal Attacks, The CDC Issues Zombie Alert

Atlanta, GA – (SatireWorld.com) The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its first ever Zombie Alert, advising US citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Following Cannibal Attacks, The CDC Issues Zombie Alert
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Strange People

Jedi Masters Just Ain’t What They Used To Be

Sigh! Jedi Masters just ain’t what they used to be! At one time they were of the caliber of Sir Alec Guiness, the original Obi-Wan Kenobi, a proven hero whose name had the extra fortification of being the same as…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jedi Masters Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
Posted in Health

When it Comes to Healthcare, Give Me Liberty and Give Me Death

America is the world leader in most important categories: #1 in nuclear warheads, #1 in citizens incarcerated, and breaking into the top 50 in healthcare. We don’t look to Europe for solutions to our problems because those countries are a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! When it Comes to Healthcare, Give Me Liberty and Give Me Death
Posted in Politics

Leaked Obama War Room Transcript: Baby, I Need Your Lovin’

The following is a rush transcript of a recording leaked to GlossyNews.com by an anonymous administration source who continues to forswear makeup and insists she will not challenge President Obama’s nomination.  Our audio experts verify the tape has not been…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Leaked Obama War Room Transcript: Baby, I Need Your Lovin’
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Top Stories

SEAL Team 6 Memoir Reveals Photo of Team Member Who Actually Shot Bin Laden

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) History was made today when Cmdr. David Montgomery’s tell all book concerning the successful Navy SEAL Team 6 raid on the Osama Bin Laden compound last year made the NY Times best seller list. According to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! SEAL Team 6 Memoir Reveals Photo of Team Member Who Actually Shot Bin Laden
Posted in Entertainment Politics

What Does it Mean When an Escort Has a Mitt Romney Special?

A Nevada prostitute has allegedly offered a “Romney Special”, but she hasn’t specified what this might include. We here at Glossy News take politics as seriously as we take prostitution, so we went undercover at several different cathouses to find…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! What Does it Mean When an Escort Has a Mitt Romney Special?
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

The Long and Thick of It in West Hollywood

A stunned Hollywood is trying to recover today from the shocking news that hit headlines yesterday. As the rest of the world wakes up, the celebrity elite are busy consoling themselves and thanking God it is not them having to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Long and Thick of It in West Hollywood
Posted in Politics

GOP Eyes Watson the Computer as Front-Runner Candidate for 2012 Election

Last month, the nation was introduced to the world’s smartest computer: the IBM Watson. Watson is an example of the incredible strides made in artificial intelligence (A.I.). With four terabytes of storage capacity, including all of Wikipedia. Watson knows the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! GOP Eyes Watson the Computer as Front-Runner Candidate for 2012 Election
Posted in Politics

Florida Gov. Rick Scott Steps Down Citing Medical Reasons

TALLAHASSEE — Florida Gov. Rick Scott stepped down today as leader of the Sunshine State after confidential reports surfaced, which we will not share. These private, personal, legally protected documents, which are confidential, prove the governor withheld a 2008 diagnosis…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Florida Gov. Rick Scott Steps Down Citing Medical Reasons
Posted in Politics

IRS Admits Culpability in Mitt Romney Tax Return Controversy

Rumors are circulating that the IRS is contemplating an audit of Mitt Romney’s tax returns for the years 2002 to present, a full 10 year’s worth of returns. A spokesperson for the IRS claims that Romney’s staunch refusal to provide…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! IRS Admits Culpability in Mitt Romney Tax Return Controversy
Posted in Biz News Politics

Bloomberg Wins Bloomberg Innovation Challenge

NEW YORK—Months of anticipation from techies and financial experts came to a close on Sunday as the results of the fourth annual Bloomberg Urban Innovation Challenge were announced. Despite the largest pool of contestants in the history of the competition,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bloomberg Wins Bloomberg Innovation Challenge
Posted in News In Your Briefs

Rahm Emanuel Skips Bohemian Grove to Attend Comic-Con

The world may, indeed, be coming to an end with news that Chicago Mayor, Rahm Emanuel, has decided this year to skip his annual trip to the secretive Bohemian Grove to attend Comic-Con 2012 in San Diego. “I couldn’t miss…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Rahm Emanuel Skips Bohemian Grove to Attend Comic-Con
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

SpongeBob Confirms Gay Rumors

HOLLYWOOD, CA. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET. Under pressure from media and various Christian organizations, SpongeBob Squarepants, in a rare public appearance yesterday from his home in Bikini Bottom, confirmed the many rumors circulating about his sexual orientation….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! SpongeBob Confirms Gay Rumors
Posted in Politics

Congress and Senate Forced to Enroll in Hooked on Phonics

Congress has come under intense scrutiny in recent years for not reading the bills they pass. Regarding the recently passed health care bill Nancy Pelosi has gone on record stating “We have to pass the bill so that we can…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Congress and Senate Forced to Enroll in Hooked on Phonics
Posted in Politics

Students Rejoice at Permission to Call Professor Obama by First Name

AMERICA—Young people across the country got warm and fuzzy on Friday when Professor Barack Obama signed a class-wide email “Barack.” With the email, students now have unofficial but presumptive license to address Professor Obama by his first name.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Students Rejoice at Permission to Call Professor Obama by First Name
Posted in Biz News

More CEO Jokes (Because They Just Won’t Go Away)

Why is the nickname for CEO’s ‘Deepwater Horizon’? Because they leave an oily trail behind them wherever they go.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! More CEO Jokes (Because They Just Won’t Go Away)
Posted in Politics

Obama Apologizes For Time It’s Taken To Clean Up Bush’s Mess

President blames himself for underestimating extent to which his Republican predecessor managed to f*ck everything up.  WASHINGTON – In a conciliatory address to the nation today, President Obama apologized for the amount of time it has taken for him to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Apologizes For Time It’s Taken To Clean Up Bush’s Mess