Posted in Religionism

Iraqi Suicide Bombers Struggle Forming a Union

Today union minded Iraqis formed Suicide Bombers Locale #467 in Baghdad but had to promptly look for a new union hall as a couple of the members brought their work in with them. Sitting outside the smoldering building the surviving…

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Posted in Biz News Politics

Ralph Lauren Apologizes to Mitt Romney for Chinese-Made Yarmulke

Ralph Lauren has found himself in another tight spot this weekend when it was revealed that the yarmulkes designed for Romney’s visit to Israel were also made in China. A quick apology was issued when news of the non-kosher yarmulkes…

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Posted in Politics

Mitt Romney Adopts His Overseas Money; Emotional Reunion at Airport

BOSTON–It was quite the Hallmark moment for the Romney clan today as the former governor stood next to his campaign bus at the Logan International Airport, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his newly adopted sons. And as his “precious cargo”…

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Posted in Internets Tubes Sports Events

Queen Tweets Her Way through the Opening Ceremonies

LONDON–Through a little investigative journalism here and a little bribe there, Iron E-News was able to obtain the royal jewel of news: The Queen’s Tweets. Unbeknownst to most of the world, her majesty has a secret Twitter account and, since…

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Posted in Technology

Environmentalists Unite To Support Effing Fracking In California??? What The Frack?

A strange new development has occurred in the continued battle behind the oil industry and environmentalists over the use of fracking. Fracking, for those unfamiliar with the term, is the new art of pumping chemical laden water back into an…

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Posted in Talky Pictures

Struggling Local Actress Lands Gritty New Role as Data Entry Clerk

INDIANAPOLIS – After working tirelessly to break into the professional theater scene since her graduation from Butler University in 2009, former Theater Studies major Rachael Cardwell has landed a gritty new role entering data for S.C. Clarkson Ltd. The talented…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Charlie Sheen to Run for President of the President of the United States

NEW YORK—In a surprising move yesterday, Adonis Charlie Sheen announced that he would be running for POTUS (or President of the United States) in the upcoming election and that, obviously, everyone else who ran would fail and become “epic losers.”

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Comic Books Say POW to Cancer

Link found between comic books and reduction in cancer risk. In a world where everything can give you cancer scientists have found that reading comic books reduces the risk. According to scientists at Brown University ‘a comic book a day…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Kristen Stewart Relieved She Didn’t Cheat on ‘Old School’ Vampire

LOS ANGELES–Kristen Stewart, actress and star of the popular Twilight series (a documentary closely based on her actual life), has recently confessed to stepping out on her undead beloved, Robert Pattison. According to sources very close to sources closer to…

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