Posted in Society

San Francisco Announces 100% Homosexuality Milestone

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (GlossyNews) — The San Francisco City Council held a prime time press conference yesterday evening to announce some groundbreaking news for the inhabitants of the City by the Bay: “Our citizens now self-identify as 100 percent gay.”…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! San Francisco Announces 100% Homosexuality Milestone
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Meg Whitman Found Huddled in Pantry Crying “Where’s My Money?”

ATHERTON, Calif. (GlossyNews) — Meg Whitman, the former CEO of eBay, has spent upwards of $160 million of her own money in a run for California Governor, which easily tops the private spending of any candidate elsewhere in the entire…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Meg Whitman Found Huddled in Pantry Crying “Where’s My Money?”
Posted in Internets Tubes Technology

US wins Supercomputer Race w/ Record-Breaking Chinese Computer

It was announced this week that China now owns the world’s fastest computer, which is a great victory for Americans, since the technology is far from new, and the technology all comes from Santa Clara, California. That’s clearly a boon…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! US wins Supercomputer Race w/ Record-Breaking Chinese Computer
Posted in Entertainment Environment

Chiclones and Windpocalypses and NDizzards, Oh My

EDITORIAL (GlossyNews) — Meteorologists, or Weather Forecasters as they like to refer to themselves, have always found it hard to keep their audiences happy. If they call for sunshine and it rains, the first people blamed are the forecasters. For…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Chiclones and Windpocalypses and NDizzards, Oh My
Posted in Kidz Zone

Halloween Safety Tips to Avoid Raisin Poisonation

Halloween will soon be upon us. Here are some simple tips that should help keep the holiday safe and fun for everyone. 1. When planning your children’s trick-or-treating route, stick to residential neighborhoods. Try to avoid deserted industrial areas, construction…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Halloween Safety Tips to Avoid Raisin Poisonation
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Sally Field Implodes as Entire Skeletal Structure Collapses

Appearing at a news conference plopped inside a prosthetic device that could only be described as a bucket, Sally Field wondered if anyone will still like her after she experienced a violent adverse reaction to the osteoporosis drug, Boniva. “A…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sally Field Implodes as Entire Skeletal Structure Collapses
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Kennedy Ctr Pre-Humously Honor Hugh “Playboy Bunny” Hefner

Famed soft core porn peddler Hugh Hefner will be among the Lifetime Achievement Award winners at 2011 Kennedy Center ceremonies. The announcement immediately stirred controversy, since it marks the first time the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts has honored…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kennedy Ctr Pre-Humously Honor Hugh “Playboy Bunny” Hefner
Posted in Biz News Crime

Banks Face Fines for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

DOVER, Delaware (GlossyNews) – Justice Department investigators confirmed today they are considering possible fines and other penalties against several of the United States’ largest financial institutions for the murders of hundreds of homeowners delinquent in their mortgage payments. The Justice…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Banks Face Fines for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners
Posted in Making Headlines

Whitman Camp Lauds $162million in Personal Stimulus

Even though she may have intended it to lead her to the highest gubernatorial office in the land, she’s just happy to do her part… if you can accept all that.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Whitman Camp Lauds $162million in Personal Stimulus
Posted in Making Headlines

Paul Camp Apologizes for “Pinko’s such Stompable Head”

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Paul Camp Apologizes for “Pinko’s such Stompable Head”
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Hillary Clinton’s Gum Chewing Sparks International Crisis

Wrigley Fjord, East Sweden (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Though she is officially America’s top diplomat, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton committed a grievous etiquette faux pas today by chewing gum in the presence of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hillary Clinton’s Gum Chewing Sparks International Crisis
Posted in Top Stories War Zone

Tweetle Beetle Tactics To Be Used By The Military

In 1965, Dr. Theodore “Seuss” Geisel published his war study, “Fox in Socks.” The final 20% of the book discusses tactics and strategy employed by Tweetle Beetles in battle conditions. One sentence reads: “When beetles fight their battles in a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tweetle Beetle Tactics To Be Used By The Military
Posted in Politics Television

FOX “Frankenfans” Plot To Annihilate Liberals Revealed

A bizarre plot has been uncovered that is sending chills down the spines of many liberals, free thinkers and political independents. A leaked memo from the highest levels of FOX News to leaders of the top ultra conservative movements reveals…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! FOX “Frankenfans” Plot To Annihilate Liberals Revealed
Posted in Politics Talky Pictures

Glenn Beck, Charles Manson Powwow on How to Start a Race War

Witnesses claim a shadowy figure identified as Fox News agitator, professional racist, Tea Party provocateur and self-anointed Godsend, Glenn Beck, was seen moving in and out of the visitation chambers of Corcoran State Prison recently. The target of his attention?…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glenn Beck, Charles Manson Powwow on How to Start a Race War
Posted in Television

NBC to Debut OH MY GAAAWWWWD in Fall TV Lineup

A “unique” new NBC TV series to debut in the fall is entitled, OHHHH MMYYY GGGAAAWWWWDDDD!!!, and will air every night of the week with a different format each night. For example, Monday nights will allow viewers to witness a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NBC to Debut OH MY GAAAWWWWD in Fall TV Lineup
Posted in Politics

Pres. Hopeful Bargis Tryhol’s Economic Recovery Plan Makes Good Sense?

Honored writer, and now United States presidential candidate for the upcoming 2012 elections, Bargis Tryhol finally revealed his own Economic Stimulus plan to a throng of reporters outside his Gainesville mobile home. Bargis Tryhol, the endearing and witty writer turned…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pres. Hopeful Bargis Tryhol’s Economic Recovery Plan Makes Good Sense?
Posted in Politics Television

FOX Struggles To Replace “Fair And Balanced” With More Accurate Slogan.

FOX News, painfully aware of the hypocrisy behind their using of the motto ‘Fair And Balanced’ when it is obvious to all with at least two eyes in their head that they are a major blow-horn for right wing shills,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! FOX Struggles To Replace “Fair And Balanced” With More Accurate Slogan.
Posted in Human Interest Television

Gender Discrimination in Asian Horror Movies

A recent study on gender bias in Asian horror movies have left many with weak stomachs in addition to the usual hankering for pseudo-buttered popcorn. It was found that the majority of ghosts are female and seeking vengeance, thus leaving…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gender Discrimination in Asian Horror Movies
Posted in Religionism

Historians: Brigham Young May Have Been Black, Hams Rejoice

Historians have discovered that Brigham Young, the second Prophet and President of the LDS (Mormon) Church was actually black. Dr. Hyrum Kimball at Northern Utah State University revealed his controversial findings at a symposium of Mormon History marking the 180th…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Historians: Brigham Young May Have Been Black, Hams Rejoice
Posted in Politics Religionism

Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann

“Sorry, Michele, I’m busy that night,” was the unfortunate reply to Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann’s invitation to dinner to none other than Jesus Christ, her personal Lord and Savior. The woman from Minnesota was crushed. “Sure, I got definite yeses from…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann