Month: October 2010
Hillary Clinton’s Gum Chewing Sparks International Crisis
Wrigley Fjord, East Sweden (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Though she is officially America’s top diplomat, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton committed a grievous etiquette faux pas today by chewing gum in the presence of…
Tweetle Beetle Tactics To Be Used By The Military
In 1965, Dr. Theodore “Seuss” Geisel published his war study, “Fox in Socks.” The final 20% of the book discusses tactics and strategy employed by Tweetle Beetles in battle conditions. One sentence reads: “When beetles fight their battles in a…
FOX “Frankenfans” Plot To Annihilate Liberals Revealed
A bizarre plot has been uncovered that is sending chills down the spines of many liberals, free thinkers and political independents. A leaked memo from the highest levels of FOX News to leaders of the top ultra conservative movements reveals…
Glenn Beck, Charles Manson Powwow on How to Start a Race War
Witnesses claim a shadowy figure identified as Fox News agitator, professional racist, Tea Party provocateur and self-anointed Godsend, Glenn Beck, was seen moving in and out of the visitation chambers of Corcoran State Prison recently. The target of his attention?…
NBC to Debut OH MY GAAAWWWWD in Fall TV Lineup
A “unique” new NBC TV series to debut in the fall is entitled, OHHHH MMYYY GGGAAAWWWWDDDD!!!, and will air every night of the week with a different format each night. For example, Monday nights will allow viewers to witness a…
Pres. Hopeful Bargis Tryhol’s Economic Recovery Plan Makes Good Sense?
Honored writer, and now United States presidential candidate for the upcoming 2012 elections, Bargis Tryhol finally revealed his own Economic Stimulus plan to a throng of reporters outside his Gainesville mobile home. Bargis Tryhol, the endearing and witty writer turned…
FOX Struggles To Replace “Fair And Balanced” With More Accurate Slogan.
FOX News, painfully aware of the hypocrisy behind their using of the motto ‘Fair And Balanced’ when it is obvious to all with at least two eyes in their head that they are a major blow-horn for right wing shills,…
Gender Discrimination in Asian Horror Movies
A recent study on gender bias in Asian horror movies have left many with weak stomachs in addition to the usual hankering for pseudo-buttered popcorn. It was found that the majority of ghosts are female and seeking vengeance, thus leaving…
Historians: Brigham Young May Have Been Black, Hams Rejoice
Historians have discovered that Brigham Young, the second Prophet and President of the LDS (Mormon) Church was actually black. Dr. Hyrum Kimball at Northern Utah State University revealed his controversial findings at a symposium of Mormon History marking the 180th…
Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann
“Sorry, Michele, I’m busy that night,” was the unfortunate reply to Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann’s invitation to dinner to none other than Jesus Christ, her personal Lord and Savior. The woman from Minnesota was crushed. “Sure, I got definite yeses from…