Month: December 2009
Fir Trees Being Kidnapped Mysteriously Around The World
Thousands of fir trees have been mysteriously disappearing from forests around the Western world in the last few weeks. Forest rangers making their rounds have been shocked to find many conifers, mostly young ones between three and six feet tall,…
‘No Hoodies’ Policy vs ‘Old Time Religion’
The draconian dipshit management of Monty Mamon’s Shopping Arcade at Skidrow-on-Sea have come under severe criticism due their inflexible ‘No Hoodies’ policy. The rigid enforcement of the regulation resulted in a detail of psychopathic Albanian immigrant Gestapo wannabes – on…
China’s Economic, High-Tech Transformation and its Bright (scary?) Future
From Chairman Mao’s era of Agricultural focused economy to Deng Xiaoping’s Opening up and Reform policies, inviting in foreign investments to build mainly a Light Industry focused economy in China, China has transformed a great deal in the last 3…
The War on Kwanzaa
I went into a Kroger’s today, and not one person wished me a Fruitful Kwanzaa….when i went to the WalMart to pick up some tasty steaks, again, not one Fruitful Kwanzaa….what is up with that? Have we come to such…
Dr. Phil Offers Free Psychological Counseling to Tiger Woods
Dr. Phil McGraw, America’s favorite unlicensed psychologist and self-proclaimed therapist to the stars, has offered to provide Tiger Woods with free psychological counseling if it will help him “get real” again. In an interview between Dr. Phil and Tiger last…
Ask Hank – Battle over Basement Bunker Becomes Brouhaha
Dear Hank, I have a serious issue that needs addressed. I’m a conservative, belong to the NRA and have just finished my bunker cause we all know what’s coming in 2012. My damn wife wants to decorate the damn thing…
The Christmas Gift of Conservatism
Once again our ConSox are bulging with these great, new (in most cases) gift ideas for those new people in your life who are discovering Conservatism and its joys. It’s never too soon to gift your son or daughter with…
Congress Adds Goats to New Economic Stimulus Plan
WASHINGTON – In a continuing effort to avoid recession, House leaders and the White House were pleased to announce plans for a new economic stimulus package that would include a goat, a sack of dry beans, and an acre of…
Adam Lambert May Perform at Academy Awards
It was announced today that Adam Lambert is cautiously being asked to perform at the Academy Awards. The caveat is that he must appear solo on stage, wear a loose-fitting jogging suit, and sing a medley of Barry Manilow and…