Once again our ConSox are bulging with these great, new (in most cases) gift ideas for those new people in your life who are discovering Conservatism and its joys. It’s never too soon to gift your son or daughter with a nice Conservative gift at Christmas. Eventually they will come to see the light and cherish what you have so gladly given them. Even that crusty old uncle Joe who never smiles any kind of thanks will get a twinkle in his eye here.
The gift of a fine Christmas Book from respected authors such as Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, Larry “WS” Craig, Dr. Taitz, Mark Foley and other Conservatives are now available. Look for them on the web and in select Conservative-leaning book shops.
If you are looking on the web, just type (author:_______) into Google and press search. The _______ is where you type the name of who you wish to find. Easy.
Arguing For Idiots: How Small Minds Work For Big Government ——$69.75
by John Ensign and Cong. Joe Wilson
This treatise is about mastering the basic neocon ability of winning arguments against people by using your own big mouths and small minds. Learn how to be more loudmouthed and assertive than you thought possible. Make people never want to question how you love your America again. It’s simple: the next time a self-righteous vegetarian sounds their chicken-little alarm…your reply is right there on page 139. Rubber band the book to your cell and carry it at all times. You never know when you will need it.
Manliness as Art: Teach Your Son Classic Skills and Manners ——$35.50
by Mike Huckabee with Dr. Orly Taitz
In times past, manliness was a worthy and distinct characteristic — a quality that boys strove to attain. Men wished to have their manliness attached to their name. But these manly virtues and skills have begun to disappear. Our book analyzes the different roles a man assumes throughout his life, and shows how to redevelop the manly attributes and skills that go along with it.
Learn to ‘Shave Like Your Grandpa’; ‘Be the Perfect House Guest’; and ‘Practice The Art of Thank-You-Notes’. Become adept at ‘Secret Handshake: How to Help a ‘Friend With a Problem’; Practice ‘The Mechanics of the Man Hug’; Go ‘Beyond G-Strings and Keg Stands: Throwing a Classy Bachelor Party’; Find the nerve to ‘Have “The Talk” With Your Son’; then teach him what it means to ‘Shake Hands Like a Man’.
A Boy’s Huck Finn Hand Book, 2008 Edition ——$18.75
Foreword by Larry Craig when told by Mark Foley
If Huckleberry Finn were to settle down, somewhere out there in the territory, and decide to become an author, he might very well come up with a book like this one…evoking the kind of boyhood that nearly every American man would like to have had himself. It should be handed down to your great-grandboys. Teach how to camp out without a tent. The private hand game, “Uncle Enos” Banjo. The campy sleep-over game Puss-in-Boots, Dramatized and Adapted For a Puppet-Show.
Used since 1892 by generations of Boy Scouts, this classic manual of pastimes includes instructions for hundreds of projects — making kites, riding double on snow sleds, learning to cast a pole, and the ever-popular teen’s blow gun. Lots more two-man puppet shows, unlimited backyard camping with flashlights; so much more — over 317 black-and-white detailed how-to illustrations that are most poignant.
You Troublemaker, You Troublemaker ——$45.99
A very rare first edition of this early-remaindered work. The dust jacket says “In this intimate book, Billo takes you back to examine everything that happened to launch him on his journey from maladjusted loner to his current state, an immensely foolish, long-winded person.” Billo says “One day I made a real dumb remark, and Sister Lurana, she leaned down, as was her habit, looked me in the eye, and spat out: ‘William, you troublemaker, you troublemaker!” Little did Sister Mary know that she was defining a career for a troublemaker.
A USS REAGAN CAP ——$30.00
One row of gold “Captain’s Scrambled Eggs” on the visor. LIMITED—NEVER BEFORE OFFERED FOR SALE. All sizes available. Get yours before the USS Reagan is decommissioned.
Ronnie Reagan’s Callista & Newt Deja Vous ——$89.95
CD Hosts Newt & Callista
In this catchy docu-drama see how Ronnie used Nancy to make up a list of conservative principles that draw America as a “shiny city worth a hill of beans.” Dixon, Illinois still is that city, and not worth that proverbial hill of beans. RR left as quickly as the ink dried on his diploma. He then began to wander through a career in Hollywood where he meets and marries, then meets and marries again. Newt’s comment here is priceless, “I owe this, my current marriage, to this great man’s desert quest to find the love of his life.”
Newt and wife narrate the story personally with short vignettes of home movies of Ronnie and Nancy attending seances, Nancy casting astrologies for friends at $5 a piece and the never-before-seen reels of Ronnie getting made up for the GE TV show which launched him into politics. With Nancy’s uncanny help, Newt is able to interview Ronnie live during a most touching final scene in the CD. You won’t want to miss this one.
Official 2009 White House Christmas Ornament ——$.85 (pre-inflation dollars)
Seemingly unaware that the Democrats inhabit the White House, the Conservatives have reissued this archived ornament which honors the second administration of President Grover Cleveland. Most come without string.
Simple Christianity Christmas ——$49.95 (CD——$21.95 each)
by Mike Huckabee
“So simple that it has all the makings of a first-class disaster. Huckabee recounts twelve Christmas memories from his own life that illustrate the rewritten meaning of the Conservative Evangelical Nativity. Mike can include a music CD of his latest “Carols of the Guitar Christ”. CDs not sold separately.
Glenn’s Hand-Knitted Christmas Sweater ——$19.50 (separate words additional——$5.00 per letter)
Value words by Glenn Beck, knit by Grenn Veck, LLC
A wickedly poignant yarn of family, faith and forgiveness — based on the actual first sweater he knitted with his own hands. The new sweater by Beck is exclusively knit just for the children. Sizes range from Infant to size XXL for the high schoolers who want to look cool and sloppy at the same time.
ORDER your sweaters with one (or more!) of the New 9/12 Values knit right in:
• Honesty • Reverence • Hope • Thrift • Humility • Charity • Sincerity • Moderation • Hard Work • Courage • Personal Responsibility • Gratitude •
Your choice of yarn colors for the Value you choose…Patriotic Red, Wealthy Gold, Majestic Purple. Don’t ask, Blue is not a Value color. Allow 6-12 weeks delivery on Value-added sweaters.