Trump to Host Romney Bacon-Wrapped Foie Gras Dinner Fundraiser

TRUMP TOWER, NYC —GlossyNews The final logistics for “Trump’s Huge Gourmet Dinner to Fund Gov. Romney” have been released. The Donald announced that “on landing at Kennedy the fortunate attendees – the chosen folk – will receive free post-flight ground transportation in the Trump vehicle, a personal guided tour and overnight stay at the Trump International Hotel & Tower and have a gourmet dinner with me, Donald Trump. And Mitt, of course. How could I ever forget Mitt? I’m hosting his fundraiser dinner! Read more Trump to Host Romney Bacon-Wrapped Foie Gras Dinner Fundraiser

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Merkel Readies Device for Stimulating Greeks

BERLIN, GERMANY —GlossyNews Chancellor Merkel of Germany said she would readily agree to stimulating Greece in their G-spot. Germany’s “Iron Lady” says she will use her newly created device called a “Euro-do”, thusly named as it inserts the Euro into the economy as a sexual stimulant device, an effect that is similar to the use of a dildo – named the “dildo effect”. Read more Merkel Readies Device for Stimulating Greeks

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Gingrich Halted By Month-old Shooting

BATON ROUGE, LA —EBBQ Newt Gingrich hastily called a press conference after appearing on Sean Hannity’s FOXNEWS telecast.

He said in opening the sparsely attended 2-reporter conference: “I was completely misquoted in my answer to Sean where he said that I had harshly criticized President Obama for his comment on Trayvon Martin’s tragic shooting. Read more Gingrich Halted By Month-old Shooting

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GOPTea Claims Veep Mittstakes Keep 2012 Election Interesting

BOSTON, Mass. – EBBQ – The range of the GOPTea™ party’s unrolling Veep list rockets from the absurd to the impractical, borders the impossible and suddenly flips back to the absurd — it’s an endless loop.

Will we get another Palin – Quayle – Kemp? What about another [gasp] Cheney? Who will finally match the power of Etch-a-Mitt™?

Shake, shake, shake your booty. Shake, shake, shake your booty. Read more GOPTea Claims Veep Mittstakes Keep 2012 Election Interesting

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Etch-A-Mitt™ Galvanizes The GOPTea™

NORTH WISCONSIN  —GlossyNews  “America hasn’t been working,” Romney said at a recent political rally in north Wisconsin, “…and I believe it’s because they don’t have jobs. Wisconsin is like all the rest of the states. Where have all your jobs gone to, I ask you?”

He continued, “In my quest to become your president, I have been seeking Middle Class endorsements from deep within the nation’s Middle Class. Read more Etch-A-Mitt™ Galvanizes The GOPTea™

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