Posted in Politics

Prop 8 SCOTUS Vote Jerks GOPTea© Full Circle

WASHINGTON DC —GlossyNews There’s a small but rising fear in some GOPTea© circles that if SCOTUS agrees that California’s Prop 8 is unconstitutional, Romney will lose a very effective rallying point for evangelical conservatives. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Prop 8 SCOTUS Vote Jerks GOPTea© Full Circle
Posted in Politics

Santorum Endorses Mitt Romney… For Profit

PITTSBURG, PA –GlossyNews Rick Santorum finally threw his support behind presumptive GOPTea™ nominee Mitt Romney, saying to his supporters, “I strongly encouraged Mitt to add me as the Team Conservative Leader, and I am pleased to say that I will…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Santorum Endorses Mitt Romney… For Profit
Posted in Politics

Trump to Host Romney Bacon-Wrapped Foie Gras Dinner Fundraiser

TRUMP TOWER, NYC —GlossyNews The final logistics for “Trump’s Huge Gourmet Dinner to Fund Gov. Romney” have been released. The Donald announced that “on landing at Kennedy the fortunate attendees – the chosen folk – will receive free post-flight ground…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump to Host Romney Bacon-Wrapped Foie Gras Dinner Fundraiser
Posted in World News

Merkel Readies Device for Stimulating Greeks

BERLIN, GERMANY —GlossyNews Chancellor Merkel of Germany said she would readily agree to stimulating Greece in their G-spot. Germany’s “Iron Lady” says she will use her newly created device called a “Euro-do”, thusly named as it inserts the Euro into…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Merkel Readies Device for Stimulating Greeks
Posted in Politics

Gingrich Halted By Month-old Shooting

BATON ROUGE, LA —EBBQ Newt Gingrich hastily called a press conference after appearing on Sean Hannity’s FOXNEWS telecast. He said in opening the sparsely attended 2-reporter conference: “I was completely misquoted in my answer to Sean where he said that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gingrich Halted By Month-old Shooting
Posted in Politics

GOPTea Claims Veep Mittstakes Keep 2012 Election Interesting

BOSTON, Mass. – EBBQ – The range of the GOPTea™ party’s unrolling Veep list rockets from the absurd to the impractical, borders the impossible and suddenly flips back to the absurd — it’s an endless loop. Will we get another…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! GOPTea Claims Veep Mittstakes Keep 2012 Election Interesting
Posted in Politics

Etch-A-Mitt™ Galvanizes The GOPTea™

NORTH WISCONSIN  —GlossyNews  “America hasn’t been working,” Romney said at a recent political rally in north Wisconsin, “…and I believe it’s because they don’t have jobs. Wisconsin is like all the rest of the states. Where have all your jobs…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Etch-A-Mitt™ Galvanizes The GOPTea™
Posted in Politics

VP 2012: Mitt’s Pick gets Nitpicked

ON THE GOPTEA™ TRAIL —GlossyNews Inevitable, unstoppable, charismatic Juggernaut Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney faced heated questioning this week on the issue of VP selection. The name Rand Paul has been surfacing with increased frequency among Romney confidantes, leading some election watchers…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! VP 2012: Mitt’s Pick gets Nitpicked
Posted in Politics

Gingrich Charged With Felonious Photoshopping

WASHINGTON DC –GlossyNews Newt Gingrich, politician and part-time front runner in the GOPTea™ presidential race, has been charged with “the gravest, most evil transgression that humanity has ever been subjected to.” An activist group claims Mr. Gingrich has been illegally…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gingrich Charged With Felonious Photoshopping
Posted in Politics

Santorum gets suicidal over teleprompters

GOPTEA™ CAMPAIGN TRAIL —GlossyNews Listening to Rick Santorum speak is like listening to him arguing with himself. He keeps arguing and arguing until he realizes he has won. Then he smiles a cheshire cat smile of a grin, and makes…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Santorum gets suicidal over teleprompters