Month: December 2009
Wounded British Soldiers Ward Off Prime Minister’s Visit
The UK Office of the Prime Minister today announced and welcomed the Army’s 1,000th recruit of the year – sixteen-year-old Private Angus Munt from Glasgow’s Pikey Park Sink or Swim Council Estate. Conversely the winner of the ‘First Century’ Squaddies-in-Bodybags…
Ashley Madison Not One of Tiger Woods’ Mistresses
If Ashley Madison is not one of Tiger Woods’ many mistresses, then who is she and what does this have to do with Tiger Woods you ask? Plenty. If you didn’t know better, you’d think that Ashley Madison was just…
Once You’ve Had Tiger, You Can’t Go Back
I rushed into the conference room where my colleagues had gathered to discuss potential stories to publish in the next day’s newspaper. As the editor, Oscar sat at the head of the table, gulping down a cup of foul-smelling coffee,…
A Vision for Establishing Free Vocational Schools Across the Country
My name is Charles Wang. And I am writing to you about a successful program and service that my friend and I have created: we built a non-profit, vocational, training center to teach practical skills to the homeless people that…
Sarah Palin Pregnant Again. Claims it May Be Someone Else’s.
Switzerland to Ban Muslim Minarets
Conservative moderate Swiss voters turned out en masse to support a referendum proposal banning the building of any more Islamic minarets. More than 75% of voters and 22 out of 26 cantons voted in favor of the ban – with…
Cannibals say ‘Sorry’ for Eating Vicar
A man whose English great-great-great grandfather was murdered then marinated in a hickory sauce for two days before being barbequed and eaten by South Pacific cannibals has taken part in a unique reconciliation ritual on their home island. In the…
UPS Vs The Post Office — Annual Race Between The Tortoise And Hare
The time of year has come for the great Christmas race between the tortoise and the hare. Those who know Aesop’s fable, know it as a moralizing tale. In this case, it involves a total lack of morals whatsoever. This…
Embrace it and Celebrate it: AIDS in Shelby County TN
In the city of Memphis, it is not a rare thing to walk through the streets and be completely blown away at the filth found lurking around every grotesque corner. Men, women, and teenagers alike are using their bodies as…
Man Arrested for Biting Satire
Joe Satire had bites about his head and neck but could not identify his attacker.