Author: Ask Hank
Ask Hank – Missteps, Mistresses and Misfortunes
Dear Hank, I’ve been stringing along this lovely mistress for over a year. How do I tell her that my wife and I are now expecting triplets? We spent an in vitro fortune to get them, so I can no…
Ask Hank – Valentine’s Day Massacre in the Making
Dear Hank, I need help, and fast. I’m a newlywed, and this will be mine and my new wife’s first Valentine’s Day together, but I don’t have two nickels to rub together to buy my sweetie something nice. It’s my…
Ask Hank: All Your Philosophically Sexual Questions Answered
OK Hank, Here are a couple philosophical questions for your amusement. Why do men and women have two hands? If the Universe is expanding like my waistline, why does the content of my wallet not do the same? Why do…
Dear Hank: Sweets for My Sweets Making Them Obese
Dear Hank, I’ve got a real problem. I’m considering taking a walk down the aisle for the 4th time and I already know how it’s going to end…in divorce. Why? Because I am the one responsible for the merry-go-round that…
Advice on Sex Change Exchange Between Father and Daughter
Note from Hank: Before we get to today’s column, I just want to give a shout out to all the kind folks who have written asking questions. I’m limited in what I can respond to because I only do my…
Ask Hank: There’s Something Mighty Fishy About this SPAM
Dear Hank; With regards to the following e-mail I recently received (which has been shortened for the sake of brevity): From: SENATE COMMITTEE Sent: Wed, January 6, 2010 2:58:30 PM Subject: Approved Immediate ATM Swift Payment Office of the Senate…
Ask Hank: Dying to Date a Triple D
Dear Hank: I’ve got a crush on my neighbor. She lives just across the apartment complex from me, is stunningly gorgeous, and I know from looking, she’s single. She does have the odd one-time male guest now and again, but…
Ask Hank – Spam Mail Offers Unemployed Dad Chance at New Career
Dear Hank, I recently received this email and thought I would ask your advice about how to respond. You see I am currently unemployed and this job offer would be such a big help for me to put food on…
Ask Hank – Pre-Natal Lawsuit Threatened by Unborn Child
Dear Hank, I’m seven months old (that’s from conception) and due in late January. Recently, I heard my parents talking about what they were going to name me: Siegfried. Hank, I can’t go through life with that moniker. Recently I…
Ask Hank: Advice on Golf Masters, Mistresses and Bawdy Birdies
Dear Hank, My wife recently found out that I’ve been seeing some other women and now it seems like I’m in all kinds of trouble. She knew when we met that I was a swinger but now she’s pretending like…