Posted in Society

Ask Hank – Missteps, Mistresses and Misfortunes

Dear Hank, I’ve been stringing along this lovely mistress for over a year. How do I tell her that my wife and I are now expecting triplets? We spent an in vitro fortune to get them, so I can no…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank – Missteps, Mistresses and Misfortunes
Posted in Society Top Stories

Ask Hank – Valentine’s Day Massacre in the Making

Dear Hank, I need help, and fast. I’m a newlywed, and this will be mine and my new wife’s first Valentine’s Day together, but I don’t have two nickels to rub together to buy my sweetie something nice. It’s my…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank – Valentine’s Day Massacre in the Making
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: All Your Philosophically Sexual Questions Answered

OK Hank, Here are a couple philosophical questions for your amusement. Why do men and women have two hands? If the Universe is expanding like my waistline, why does the content of my wallet not do the same? Why do…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: All Your Philosophically Sexual Questions Answered
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Dear Hank: Sweets for My Sweets Making Them Obese

Dear Hank, I’ve got a real problem. I’m considering taking a walk down the aisle for the 4th time and I already know how it’s going to end…in divorce. Why? Because I am the one responsible for the merry-go-round that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dear Hank: Sweets for My Sweets Making Them Obese
Posted in Society Top Stories

Advice on Sex Change Exchange Between Father and Daughter

Note from Hank: Before we get to today’s column, I just want to give a shout out to all the kind folks who have written asking questions. I’m limited in what I can respond to because I only do my…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Advice on Sex Change Exchange Between Father and Daughter
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: There’s Something Mighty Fishy About this SPAM

Dear Hank; With regards to the following e-mail I recently received (which has been shortened for the sake of brevity): From: SENATE COMMITTEE Sent: Wed, January 6, 2010 2:58:30 PM Subject: Approved Immediate ATM Swift Payment Office of the Senate…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: There’s Something Mighty Fishy About this SPAM
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: Dying to Date a Triple D

Dear Hank: I’ve got a crush on my neighbor. She lives just across the apartment complex from me, is stunningly gorgeous, and I know from looking, she’s single. She does have the odd one-time male guest now and again, but…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: Dying to Date a Triple D
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Ask Hank – Spam Mail Offers Unemployed Dad Chance at New Career

Dear Hank, I recently received this email and thought I would ask your advice about how to respond. You see I am currently unemployed and this job offer would be such a big help for me to put food on…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank – Spam Mail Offers Unemployed Dad Chance at New Career
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Ask Hank – Pre-Natal Lawsuit Threatened by Unborn Child

Dear Hank, I’m seven months old (that’s from conception) and due in late January. Recently, I heard my parents talking about what they were going to name me: Siegfried. Hank, I can’t go through life with that moniker. Recently I…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank – Pre-Natal Lawsuit Threatened by Unborn Child
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: Advice on Golf Masters, Mistresses and Bawdy Birdies

Dear Hank, My wife recently found out that I’ve been seeing some other women and now it seems like I’m in all kinds of trouble. She knew when we met that I was a swinger but now she’s pretending like…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: Advice on Golf Masters, Mistresses and Bawdy Birdies
Posted in Society

Ask Hank – Battle over Basement Bunker Becomes Brouhaha

Dear Hank, I have a serious issue that needs addressed. I’m a conservative, belong to the NRA and have just finished my bunker cause we all know what’s coming in 2012. My damn wife wants to decorate the damn thing…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank – Battle over Basement Bunker Becomes Brouhaha
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Ask Hank – Sweatin’ With the Oldies

Dear Hank, I’m an 87 year old widower. I’ve just been told I’m terminally ill, with only six months left. I would like to party with 20-year-old blonde hardbodies in the time I have left, but there aren’t any in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank – Sweatin’ With the Oldies
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: Republicans = Swoony Churchgoers

Hey Hank, It’s become a toss-up for me here and thought you could help out, if you want… I am and have been an atheist for most of my life. I just can’t get into the whole swoony churchy thing….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: Republicans = Swoony Churchgoers
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: Trailer Park Pursuit

Dear Hank, I’m pretty sure my sister in law totally wants me. She’s gross, but I guess I’d still go make it happen if I thought my girl wouldn’t find out. Doesn’t matter. I’m conflicted. On the one hand it…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: Trailer Park Pursuit
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: No Stranger to Prison, Just Strange

Dear Hank, I’m a regular guy, I keep to my business and do work when I can. How come I keep getting arrested? -Frisked in Fresno Dear Frisked, Since you don’t really say what you are being arrested for, I…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: No Stranger to Prison, Just Strange
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Ask Hank: Another Greek Tragedy

Hey Hank, Sometimes it feels like everything around me is going wrong, like my family hates me, like I’ll never get married, and like I’ll never have kids or become a real man. Can you suggest what drink would go…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: Another Greek Tragedy
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Ask Hank: Dating without Restraints

I have a question for Hank. How can I meet women that aren’t psycho? Do I have to send it in through email or is this OK? -Max in Maryland Dear Max, First, just want to confirm that you can…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: Dating without Restraints
Posted in Society

Ask Hank: Cheating Husband Becomes Latter Day Lover

Dear Hank, I’ve been cheating on my wife since before I met her, and I think she might be starting to get suspicious. It’s getting pretty hairy, but winter is coming so we don’t do too much shaving up here…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ask Hank: Cheating Husband Becomes Latter Day Lover