Posted in Science

Aliens Walk Among Us (in Bulgaria Anyway)

Aliens from the Planet Nibiru and also the Pliedes, Lyra and Draco star systems have been visiting Earth for Millenniums what horologists term ‘a very long time’ – according to Bulgarian scientist Prof. Gregor von Numpty – and what is…

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Posted in Biz News

Granny Grapples with Grocery Superpower

A 95-year old Grandmother has answered the clarion of moral conscience’s call and is spearheading the campaign against a proposed supermarket being built atop the listed buildings of a historic English market town. Fellatia Skank spit the proverbial dummy when…

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Posted in Religionism

Was Jesus a British Citizen?

If one is to believe the latest Gospel being proclaimed from on high by Scottish academic and archaeologist Reverend ‘Gorbals Jack’ McTwattie, Jesus Christ came to Britain to further his education and help out his old pikey Uncle – Joseph…

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Posted in Religionism

Big Brother Targets Kindergarten Radicals

The UK’s Big Brother think tanks at Chatham House and the Tavistock Institute have now – in their superior wisdom – ordained nursery-age children should be monitored for signs of Pavlovian brainwashing by Islamist extremists – according to a leaked…

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Posted in Politics

London City Targets ‘Lycra Lout’ Cyclists

Rogue cyclists who flout the law while riding haphazardly along the gilded byways of London are to be re-classified as ‘domestic terrorists’ and fined by Westminster Council under plans to crackdown on called “Lycra louts” – with rumours abounding that…

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Posted in Human Interest Strange People

Crematorium Imposes Fatties Ban

The relatives of a 40-stone (254 kg) man from Scumerset informed a reporter for the Mass Graves Gazette that the undertaker had advised them the deceased’s body was too heavy for cremation. Frank McGrunt, a 95-year old former meat pie…

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