List of Reforms North Korea is Bringing to Bear
Since the death of Kim Jong-Il, North Korea has seen a litany of changes. The most visible of which is the introduction of chubby funster Kim Jong-Un as his successor, with a close second being the ouster of a top…
Romney Campaign Crashes Into Yet Another Tree
While driving his three nation campaign BlitzMobile at a high rate of speed, Mitt Romney apparently fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his vehicle into a tree. “Candidate Romney is pretty banged up,” said a spokesman, “but he’s resting…
Olympic Gold Medalist Mary Lou Retton Talks Leotards, Medals & Drugs
This week, GlossyNews.com sat down with former gymnast and Olympic gold medalist, Mary Lou Retton to get her thoughts on a variety of issues ahead of the Olympics in London. Here’s how it all went down. GLOSSYNEWS.COM: Welcome, Mary Lou….
Microwave Dinner Tempts Palate w/ Tones of Crumb, Salt
It is not a meal that I usually sit down to, preferring Italian and Thai; I went in with preconceptions and hesitations about its conception and direction. Visually, this is not stunning or groundbreaking, the colours are a little mediocre…
11 Reasons Sarah Palin Was A Better VP Pick Than Dick Cheney
Ex Minister of Vice Dick Cheney has come out (no, not out of the closet. Don’t we wish!) and said that Sarah Palin was a poor choice for Vice President. Well son of a gun! It’s the pot calling the…
Onion Intern Fired for Suggesting Satire on Obama Actually be Directed at Obama
CHICAGO–An intern for The Onion, a popular satirical newspaper based right here in the Windy City, was fired last week for violating the cardinal rule of media (yes, even satirical media). Apparently, the young “reporter” submitted an idea to his…
U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse
The Senate unexpectedly and unintentionally bursts into verse this morning as the legislators were conducting their routine opening procedures. The following is the official Congressional transcript of this incident. CONGRESSIONAL RECORD PROCEEDINGS AND DEBATES OF THE 112TH CONGRESS, SECOND SESSION…
Kim Jong-Un Loses Stubby Arms Race
North Korea’s new supreme leader, Kim Jong-Un, has come under fire from his generals for possessing what some would call, “stubby, chubby child-sized arms,” a claim vehemently denied by state media. “His arms are not stubby!” said state reporter Steel…
Mayans Were Right? Religious Scholars Say Gay Marriage Sign End Is Near
Experts in ancient Mayan culture have been prophesizing the world will come to a cataclysmic end in 2012. They base this on detailed interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar. Thanks to President Obama’s shocking revelation earlier this summer that he…
$35 Dollar Computer? Why Not, & It’s Gaining Momentum
It’s been an extremely slow month for news with nothing interesting going on. I’ve heard things about a big sporting event taking place in London, an upcoming Presidential election, talks of some new third-world countries developing nuclear weapons, groups of…