Posted in Internets Tubes Politics Science

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

In a groundbreaking pronouncement, the International Forum of Theoretical Physicists today stated that Donald Trump’s election confirmed the existence of the multiverse. At a press conference held at the National Academy of Sciences, Belinda Suarez, IFTP’s executive director, declared that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse
Posted in Education

2015 Advice for Graduating Students

I’d been working as an administrative assistant at an Ivy League university for about a year when my boss, the school’s marketing director, asked me to compile a list of inspirational quotes for the graduating class. I dutifully sent a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! 2015 Advice for Graduating Students
Posted in Politics

Tea Party Raptured, Republican Leadership Abandons Christianity

GlossyNews.com – Every member of the Tea Party, Tea Party Patriots, National Tea Party Federation, Nationwide Tea Part Coalition and the People’s Front of Judea has disappeared without a trace. Incidentally, sources in the Horn of Africa have reported the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tea Party Raptured, Republican Leadership Abandons Christianity
Posted in Politics

LEAK: Paul Ryan Already Signed to Do Playgirl

GlossyNews.com – Before the dust can even settle in the 2012 presidential election, TMZ has received word that vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan has inked a 7-figure deal to shoot a full spread in Playgirl Magazine. Robert Benson, an official…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! LEAK: Paul Ryan Already Signed to Do Playgirl
Posted in Politics

Romney/Ryan Official Victory Anthem Leaked: It’s Crickets

GlossyNews.com – I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the Head of the International Cricket Council, Sir Edward Crowley, to speak about why the ICC had chosen Governor Mitt Romney as its new official mascot, and why he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney/Ryan Official Victory Anthem Leaked: It’s Crickets
Posted in Politics

Launch of a Campaign to Mildly Harass Congress

So, a little while ago, I wrote this little ditty about how Congress’ approval rating had fallen below 0%. It was born mostly out of frustration with our political leaders’ absolute inability to do anything other than name post offices….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Launch of a Campaign to Mildly Harass Congress