Martian Emperor: Hands off Our Water
MARTIAN EQUATOR – Following the successful landing of NASA’s Mars Rover early this morning, the President of Mars has released a statement to Earth’s leaders, insisting: “hands off our water or there will be consequences.” Speaking today from the planet’s…
NFL TV Rights Sold… Are You Twitter for Some Football?
In a move that surprised few, the broadcast rights for the 2013-2015 seasons of the National Football League (NFL) have been sold to a non-television entity. What was a surprise, however, is that the broadcast rights have been sold to…
Wall Street Puzzled as Starbucks Expands Into Hospice
SEATTLE, WA. At their annual shareholders meeting in Seattle last week, Starbucks Coffee Company made the startling announcement of a new alliance between Starbucks and the Hospice Foundation of America. Starbucks CEO, Howard Schultz, told an excited latte-infused crowd of…
Israel’s “War With Iran” Roadshow Ready For Tour
Not content with mere headlines, the Benjamin Netanyahu War-With-Iran-Roadshow is about to get underway. A contingent of drummers, buglers, and dancing dwarfs will parade on American streets beating out their music, using the key refrain, “War with Iran! War with…
News Of The World–Year 2020 (Man Are We Screwed)
EUROPE AND THE WORLD IN 2020 News highlights- Reuters- April 1, 2020. SWITZERLAND- The once wealthy nation of Switzerland, still refusing to join the EU, has suffered yet another downturn in it’s economy. At one time the jewel of Europe…
Having a Yard Sale? What You Want for Leonard Nimoy Sings His Favorite Star Trek Christmas Songs?
Experts agree, spring and summer are synonymous with yard sales. All over America, moms are clearing out their overstuffed closets, getting rid of old, worthless, outdated junk that no longer serves any useful purpose. And they’re not just talking about…
Target Changes Employee Uniforms – Red Shirts No Longer Safe
After multiple deaths, Target has decided to make a change in the uniforms of it’s employees. This decision was made once the connection of the uniforms was made to Star Trek. It is well known that any crew wearing a…
Lunch Lady Bribes Bullies to Harass Her … Profit
Scandal visited peaceful Mayfield, Ohio this week with news Agnes Javits has been dismissed from Warner Oland Elementary School. With over forty years in cafeteria service, beloved ‘Miss A’ was easily the most recognized town resident, having served lunch to…
Who Gives a Wiki?
A recent poll has shown that over 95% of the world population neither knows nor cares about the site ‘wikileaks’ In research carried out by the ‘Blue Sky Black Heart’ think tank has shown that nobody really cares about the…
DSK Defense Laid Bare; The Wrath of Strauss-Kahn
According to lawyers for embattled Dominique Strauss-Kahn, it is now clear that “Nafi” Diallo was the accoster, not DSK himself, and that she was using the event to launch a “systematic campaign to deluge the media.” This view of events…