Jap Granny Set to Kung Fu Chop Competition

Jap Granny Set to Kung Fu Chop Competition

12 March 2009 04:20 - by Rusty

A 94-years-old Japanese widow and grandmother of six is hoping to beat George Foreman’s record as the oldest fighter to win a World Boxing Association title. Miko Kamikaze, since ‘coming out’ and declaring her FemDom lesbian sexual orientation at the age of 85 is now trying to become the oldest world champion at 94 – […]

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Posted in Sportsfolk0 Comments

US Fathers Pledge to Model Obama: Promise Kids Puppy If Elected President

US Fathers Pledge to Model Obama: Promise Kids Puppy If Elected President

21 January 2009 06:05 - by Brian K. White

Taking up the difficult charge requested of the nation’s newest president, fathers around the country have stepped up to make difficult choices and keep hope alive in the next generation. Many are doing this by emulating the exact behavior of Barack Obama and promising their dog demanding children that they too can have a puppy… […]

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Posted in Human Interest, Kidz Zone, Politics0 Comments

Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

14 January 2009 05:53 - by Brian K. White

I’ve seen that Sharon Osbourne and wondered how much of the icy face we see is put on by MTV and how much of it is the machinations of her own inner demons. Between the erratic behavior on her American obscure end cable show and what I’ve learned from the likes of Ricky Gervais, I […]

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television0 Comments

God Answers McCain’s Prayers with Resounding “No”

God Answers McCain’s Prayers with Resounding “No”

01 November 2008 07:46 - by Brian K. White

God, highest imagined power in all the universe, perhaps best known as the creator of day and night, took a few minutes away from his daily chore of answering billions of prayers for wealth, fame and sexual partners to publicly address a persistent request from one of his most visible, though least faithful followers, John […]

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

WNHL Combines Canada’s Two Greatest Exports

WNHL Combines Canada’s Two Greatest Exports

24 August 2008 05:59 - by Brian K. White

Perhaps you’ve heard of Canada, it’s the nation inconveniently separating the contiguous United States from the industrious state of Alaska. Despite their reputation as a nation “not having a reputation,” marketing executives have come up with a product that will finally put Canada on the map, which currently, at least on maps printed in the […]

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Posted in Sports Events0 Comments

Bush Commands AF-1 Due South to Greenland, Stays the Course

Bush Commands AF-1 Due South to Greenland, Stays the Course

30 December 2007 07:39 - by Brian K. White

Mere minutes into Air Force One’s flight from Andrews Air Force Base to Greenland, it was reported that President Bush entered the flight deck with commands to “Continue your southerly heading.” The President, known for his resolve, was undeterred by new information suggesting Greenland may instead lie to the northeast of Virginia, insisting, “If we […]

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Dane Cook Rocks Veritable Asses in Seatte

Dane Cook Rocks Veritable Asses in Seatte

07 December 2007 05:32 - by Brian K. White

Dane Cook appeared live at the Key Arena in Seattle last Thursday, and my hopes were too high to be anything but disappointed. First of all, he’s in the top-5 stand-up comics of our time. Secondly, I’ve already seen everything he’s done (except for the current “Rough Around the Edges” tour), and thirdly because crowds […]

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Posted in Entertainment0 Comments

China Promises Fake Lunar Landing by 2008

China Promises Fake Lunar Landing by 2008

18 October 2007 09:01 - by Brian K. White

China’s space program has enjoyed successes at a price previously unmatched by any space program. Not the US nor former Soviet Union, not even Canadians have been able to make strides in pace with the Chinese,, and not even because a typical Asian stride is so much shorter based on height alone.

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Posted in Science0 Comments

Maccessories Introduces the iPenis

Maccessories Introduces the iPenis

23 July 2007 02:11 - by Brian K. White

Apple/Macintosh, long the personal computer choice of lesbians, has unveiled their long-anticipated iPenis, the USB dildo built for interactive dyke e-erotica games and programs that can only run on the power of a Mac.

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Ebay Catalog Mailings Mire Postal Service to a Crawl

Ebay Catalog Mailings Mire Postal Service to a Crawl

26 March 2007 03:00 - by Brian K. White

Ebay has been feeling the growing pressure from mail order catalog companies due to their revived success in recent years. Consumers often don’t know what they want and having the luxury of flipping through pages was something Ebay just couldn’t offer, until now.

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Technology0 Comments

Teens Having Less Sex (in the missionary position)

Teens Having Less Sex (in the missionary position)

12 March 2007 06:00 - by Brian K. White

According to research conducted nationwide, conventional teen coitus is on the downturn. Not in favor of abstinence, but in favor of more exhausting, athletic and often dangerous positions.

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Toyota Hybrid Sports Car “Priapus” Gets Greenlight

Toyota Hybrid Sports Car “Priapus” Gets Greenlight

27 February 2007 08:00 - by Brian K. White

Toyota Motor Corp. set themselves apart from American automakers in the 80’s and 90’s by designing quality vehicles absent of planned functional obsolescences. This decade Toyota made their mark by introducing the Prius, the first hybrid car to hit the market. Critics have praised it while still dubbing it a “gutless crackerbox”, but now crackers […]

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Posted in Biz News, Technology0 Comments

Americans Depressed Over “Fat” Stereotype Seek Solace in Cheesecake

Americans Depressed Over “Fat” Stereotype Seek Solace in Cheesecake

25 February 2007 03:45 - by Brian K. White

Americans, long iconic heroes to ignorant third-worlders and lesser ethnics alike, have in recent decades been labeled as nothing more than lazy, overweight, couch-faring snobs by counterparts in Europe and Asia alike. This reputation may have exacerbated the problem as, increasingly, Americans are found seeking comfort and acceptance both from Big Mars as well as […]

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Slut 2.0 Introduces Hot-Swappable Ports

Slut 2.0 Introduces Hot-Swappable Ports

19 February 2007 08:00 - by Brian K. White

On the eve of release, designers and critics alike are praising the much anticipated release of the newest version of Slut. Whether you are a casual user or a diehard Slut enthusiast, the robust build promises a hole new experience in high speed access.

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Posted in Health, Technology0 Comments

Ball Cancer; Testing your Testes for Health and Safety

Ball Cancer; Testing your Testes for Health and Safety

02 February 2007 03:49 - by Rudager P. Marshall

Among the rarest of cancers comes cancer of the testes. Glossy News brings you these helpful tips to keeping your balls healthy.

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Cingular Busted on “Unlimited Mobile to Mobile, AL” Plan

Cingular Busted on “Unlimited Mobile to Mobile, AL” Plan

16 February 2006 06:11 - by Brian K. White

Since their merger/buyout of the non-company AT&T Wireless, Cingular has improved it’s reputation from the “largest corner of no signal whatsoever” to that of a true player in the era of modern wireless communication. Their biggest push has been the claim of the largest free mobile-to-Mobile calling area, but with bills now rolling in, subscribers […]

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

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