Ask Hank: Cheating Husband Becomes Latter Day Lover

Ask Hank: Cheating Husband Becomes Latter Day Lover

18 October 2009 08:20 - by Ask Hank

Dear Hank, I’ve been cheating on my wife since before I met her, and I think she might be starting to get suspicious. It’s getting pretty hairy, but winter is coming so we don’t do too much shaving up here you know. Should I fake my own death or just tell her I’m a long-haul […]

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Posted in Society11 Comments

Brazil Steals Oktoberfest from Germans

Brazil Steals Oktoberfest from Germans

17 October 2009 12:08 - by P. Beckert

Blumenau, SC, Brazil – In what can only be called the biggest beer coup of the decade, the town of Blumenau, Brazil has stolen yet another world’s biggest party, this time from the Germans. When it comes to hedonism, Brazilians have the corner on the market.

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Posted in Entertainment, Travel4 Comments

Jukebox Politician Bribed by Ukraine Oligarch

Jukebox Politician Bribed by Ukraine Oligarch

17 October 2009 11:36 - by Rusty

Tony Bliar, the firm favourite of his brown-nosing lackeys and stooges to become Europe’s first president now the numpty Irish have ratified the dodgy Treaty of Lisbon, is once again mired in scandal and stands accused of accepting millions of pounds in bribes from a Russian rhubarb zillionaire campaigning for the Banana Republic of the […]

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Posted in Biz News, Politics0 Comments

Written Driving Test to Ferret Fast, Furious Drivers

Written Driving Test to Ferret Fast, Furious Drivers

17 October 2009 02:15 - by Rusty

The current UK Driving and Vehicle Licensing Agency’s driving test theory section is proving to be nothing more than a crooked revenue generator of Ponzi / Pyramid scheme proportions for the dodgy New Labour government. The theory side of the test alone bills provisional license holder candidates a £30 fee each time they sit said […]

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Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

Rev. Moon Sells Off Mass-Marriage to Mormons

Rev. Moon Sells Off Mass-Marriage to Mormons

16 October 2009 11:07 - by BobZaguy

Sun Moon University, Seoul, South Korea —The final 10,000 Moonies exchanged their marriage vows this week. The ceremony came just before Utah’s Latter Day Saints, the Mormons, prepared to take over the franchise from Rev. Moon and his three sons.

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Posted in Religionism2 Comments

Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls Revealed

Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls Revealed

16 October 2009 01:08 - by Rusty

A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport’s W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance emergency services call. He was later released with a good slap round the […]

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Posted in Society, Strange People5 Comments

Postmen’s Union Decry Canine Attacks

Postmen’s Union Decry Canine Attacks

16 October 2009 01:04 - by Rusty

Police do not take pet animal attacks on postal delivery workers seriously enough, irate union leaders told press hacks during their annual Christmas piss-up at Smegmadale’s Fighting Dog and Pikey pub. The claim comes after postman Sheldon Scrunt suffered severe injuries when he was savaged by two supposedly-tame man-eating Komodo dragons while delivering a batch […]

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Posted in Human Interest2 Comments

Disturbing Sexual Trend Gives Kids New Place To Stick It

Disturbing Sexual Trend Gives Kids New Place To Stick It

15 October 2009 01:16 - by Septimus03

Columbus, OH – A mother and daughter wait in a sterile examining room. The daughter shifts uncomfortably on the crinkly paper sheet atop the standard issue table bed. The news from the doctor is grim: the girl may never hear again. “What?” the girl replies. It’s like the punch line to a cruel joke, but […]

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Posted in Health2 Comments

Personalised Plates Hit for Homophobia

Personalised Plates Hit for Homophobia

15 October 2009 01:18 - by Rusty

A score of “offensive” vehicle registration plates have been withdrawn from a Smegmashire DVLA auction as they might well fall under the politically-incorrect categories of ‘homophobic’, ‘sexist’, racist’ or ‘anarchist’ and breach one or another of the new European Fascist Federation’s legion of Prohibited 666 Offences Act 2009 laws.

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Posted in Society, Strange People1 Comment

Daffy Political Correctness Bans Children’s Stories

Daffy Political Correctness Bans Children’s Stories

15 October 2009 01:06 - by Rusty

The opening words of the age-old children’s nursery rhyme ”What shall we do with the drunken sailor?” have been removed from the lyrics in yet another of the Labour government’s stupid EU-compliance nanny state “Let’s re-write history” projects. The Bonkers Publishing charity says the re-wording of the rhyme from “drunken sailor” to “depressed pirate” simply […]

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment1 Comment

Air India Title Fight – Pilots vs Cabin Crew

Air India Title Fight – Pilots vs Cabin Crew

14 October 2009 06:52 - by Rusty

Further scandal hits basket case Air India with news that pilots and cabin crew manning an international flight bound for Dehli got into an argument then deserted the cockpit and engaged in a fist-flinging free-for-all punch up in front of terrified passengers as the aircraft flew on – in a generalised Easterly direction – into […]

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Posted in Society, Travel2 Comments

America’s Health Insurers Blow Millions on High Priced Hook

America’s Health Insurers Blow Millions on High Priced Hook

14 October 2009 04:25 - by P. Beckert

Just when you thought America’s health insurance companies couldn’t kick us any harder in the collective ass, comes the news that the insurance industry has paid coo-coo bucks for a study which says that if the present proposed health care bill is passed through legislation, it will be the cause for existing insurance premiums to […]

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Posted in Health, Politics2 Comments

UK Stimulus Requires Peasants to Get Booze Licences

UK Stimulus Requires Peasants to Get Booze Licences

14 October 2009 01:24 - by Rusty

In what may well prove to be the most stupid law to be introduced since their last stupid law caused a public outcry and political brouhaha the EU’s fascist ‘Triple Six’ Department for Total Control has decided – in their infinite wisdom – that in a time wasting bid to curb binge drinking, all boozers […]

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Posted in Biz News, Human Interest0 Comments

Egyptian Student Skips Homework, Beaten on the Knuckles, Chest, Skull

Egyptian Student Skips Homework, Beaten on the Knuckles, Chest, Skull

13 October 2009 07:49 - by Rusty

An Egyptian court has sentenced a schoolteacher to 300 hours of community service work for beating a pupil to death because he had not done his homework. Maths teacher Atilla bin Atwatt threw the 15 year-old schoolboy out of the third floor classroom window as an example, to impress on other pupils their responsibility to […]

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Society2 Comments

Stocks Soar on Good News: Foreclosure-Related Suicide Hits All Time High

Stocks Soar on Good News: Foreclosure-Related Suicide Hits All Time High

13 October 2009 06:13 - by Fuzzy Duffy

New York, NY – Stocks surged in early trading today on news from the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta that the rate of suicide in the United States directly attributable to the foreclosure on victims homes reached an all time high in the first half of 2009. “This is an encouraging sign for the […]

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Posted in Biz News3 Comments

Bliar Gets Pariah Treatment from Grieving (Germaphobic?) Father

Bliar Gets Pariah Treatment from Grieving (Germaphobic?) Father

13 October 2009 05:45 - by Rusty

A father’s grief boiled over yesterday into a furious rage when he came face to face with the man blamed for his son’s death. Ex-UK Slime Minister Tony Bliar offered the handshake of condolence during a reception at a London Chew and Spew fast food outlet following a memorial service at St Sappho’s Cathedral to […]

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Posted in War Zone3 Comments



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