Denver’s Offensive Playbook Found

Rutherford, New Jersey – Following the Denver Broncos horrific 43-8 loss in Super Bowl XLVIII to the Seattle Seahawks at MetLife Stadium, fans were left scratching their heads trying to determine what happened to the NFL’s top ranked offense that averaged 37.9 points-per-game in the regular season.

“I think everyone watching knew something was wrong from Denver’s opening play when Manning flubbed the snap,” said Referee James Chicanski after the game.

“I’ve been watching Denver all season and refereed several of their games, so I knew there had to be a logical reason for their pitiful performance,” added Chicanski.

It was not until the morning after the game that one of Denver’s fans in attendance, Jane Siconda, made an eye-opening discovery, while viewing pictures on her camera from the game.

bruno-mars-super-bowl-defense-book“I was flipping through the pictures looking for any clue that would explain why Denver looked so lost last night and then I found the answer in Bruno Mars’ hair,” said Siconda.

Bruno Mars’ hair was styled exceptionally big and fluffy for the halftime show, where he performed alongside the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It was easy to see how Denver’s playbook could get lost in there without anyone knowing. Hair experts agreed that the unusually warm temperature allowed Bruno’s hair to reach mammoth levels, absolutely devouring the playbook and leaving the Broncos offense completely helpless in the second half.

The Seattle Seahawks benefitted greatly from Bruno Mars’ hair in winning their first title and are greatly anticipating another Super Bowl victory next year when Nicki Minaj is expected to perform.

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