After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book
New York City – Publishing giant Simon & Schuster, desperate to find a way to turn a profit on Hillary Clinton’s new book “Hard Choices”, has come out with other possible uses for the book. The company hopes to entice…
Tech N9ne gets Shady, Leaves Strange
After 16 years of being strange to the hip hop scene Kansas City, MO rapper Tech N9ne leaves the label he created. Tech, whose real name is Aaron Yates has sold over two million albums and has had his music…
Hope Solo, US Women’s Soccer Goalie, Can’t Stop Slapping Things Down
Seattle – Hope Solo, the hot goalie and star of the Team USA Soccer team, is used to swatting things away. Everything from soccer balls to guys constantly hitting on her. But now it looks like the beauty might be…
Nintendo 1 ups Rapper
Michigan rapper gets no option to continue with “Super Mario World” themed clothing idea. “Its down the tubes like Mario i guess” says $Paid (Pronounced Spade) unsigned recording artist and part owner of Street Made Entertainment. The Facebook rhymer got…
Bill Kristol, Always Wrong, Moved to “More Appropriate” Weather Man Role
Outspoken pro-war pundit Bill Kristol is making headlines again for his unwavering support for military action in Iraq and the world at large. Facing pushback, The Weakly Standard has moved him to a more fitting role: Weather Man. “Look,” said…
Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon
Middletown, NJ – Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, who gained notoriety on MTV’s classy show Jersey Shore, was arrested for fighting with his own brother at a local tanning salon that the pair own together. Apparently, the double douchebags came to…
Jimmy Cracks Corn, Gets 20 Years
(Hambone, Alabama)–Jimmy was sentenced to 20 years for cracking corn as if no one cared. According to witnesses, Jimmy was observed cracking corn and repeatedly asked to stop, but refused. “I saw Jimmy sitting over there on that bench cracking…
The ‘Avengers’ Called Upon to Battle Militant Extremists in Iraq
United Nations – The United Nations has formally asked the ‘Avengers’ to step in and quell the current wave of violence in Iraq that is being waged by the extremist terror group known as ISIS. As the terrorist savages closed…
“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Obamymorons (They’re not what you think)
Announcer: Today’s guest on “Yucky World” will be noted political consultant and lexicologist W.C. “Scoop” Pooper. He will be discussing a new political term, Obamymoron, with our talk show hosts Dick and Janey. Janey: Welcome, Scoop. Dick: Hey, what’s the…
First Nations Emboldened, Demand Red Sox Change Their Name
With the hurricane centered squarely upon the Washington Red Skins, some native American tribes have seen fit to target the Red Sox, declaring them a hate-group in thier own right. “I’ve watched the Red Sox play for years,” said Margery…