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The ‘Avengers’ Called Upon to Battle Militant Extremists in Iraq

The ‘Avengers’ Called Upon to Battle Militant Extremists in Iraq

United Nations – The United Nations has formally asked the ‘Avengers’ to step in and quell the current wave of violence in Iraq that is being waged by the extremist terror group known as ISIS.

As the terrorist savages closed in on Baghdad, the world’s leaders unanimously threw their hands in the air and admitted they were powerless to stop the heathens and their thirst for blood in the region.

Ironman, Thor and Captain America had already arrived at an undisclosed location in Iraq and were awaiting the arrival of Black Widow, The Hulk, and Hawkeye.

Nick Fury, who is directing the operation, said, “I would hate to be a member of ISIS right now. Those motherf@^#ers aren’t going to know what hit ‘em. They better hope their virgins in heaven aren’t ugly bitches!”

Ironman, who had been vacationing in the Caribbean, asked why the world’s military powers couldn’t take care of the marauders and was told by Fury that the major leaders of the UN were either too spineless, politically correct, or didn’t have the balls to pull off such an effort.

One unnamed world leader could not be pulled off the golf course long enough to give a reason for his lack of interest in the situation.

Thor suggested they all sit back once The Hulk arrived. “All we have to do is say, ‘Hulk…SMASH!’ and he’ll take care of the rest. This whole thing should be over in less than an hour. I may not even have to warm up my hammer.”

Soon after, the three remaining Avengers showed up and, after ten minutes of the team ogling Black Widow in her leather outfit, Fury initiated the operation.

For coverage of the attack, tune in to any of the normal cable news channels or your local network channels. For coverage of the missing airplane, tune in to CNN.

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3 Responses to “The ‘Avengers’ Called Upon to Battle Militant Extremists in Iraq”

  1. Mad Max says:

    At least Hawkeye will have something to do for a change.

  2. Atlanta14 says:

    If the Hulk wipes his butt with a jihadist, does he still get into paradise?

  3. E. Williams says:

    I think not. I also forgot to mention that Hawkeye wrapped his arrow points in bacon for this assault so, if he can quit staring at Black Widow long enough to shoot some of them, there will be many more who won’t get in either.

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