Posted in Politics

Thad “Cochroach” Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician

Jackson, MS – It now appears that Republican Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran cheated and used the lowest of political tactics in his recent Republican primary to hang onto his political power at all costs. Fellow republicans now refer to Thadeus…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Thad “Cochroach” Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician
Posted in Biz News

Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called ‘Snobby Lobby’

Boston – Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to twitter after…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called ‘Snobby Lobby’
Posted in Entertainment

Nancy Pelosi to Reprise Role in Sequel to Brazil Movie

Hollywood – Nancy Pelosi has agreed to appear in the sequel to the 1985 movie, Brazil. The trippy movie based on George Orwell’s book, 1984, is scheduled to be released in late 2015. Pelosi appeared in the original film to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Nancy Pelosi to Reprise Role in Sequel to Brazil Movie
Posted in Human Interest

Golden Gate Bridge “Suicide Net System” to Attract Acrobats From Around the Globe

San Francisco – The city council has approved spending tens of millions of dollars to construct a system of safety nets under the Golden Gate Bridge in an attempt to thwart future suicide attempts which have plagued the landmark for…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Golden Gate Bridge “Suicide Net System” to Attract Acrobats From Around the Globe
Posted in Politics

Feds Open No-Kill Shelter for Immigrants on Texas/Mexico Border

Laredo, TX – The federal government has opened a new no-kill shelter in this border town to help find homes for thousands of new illegal immigrants who continue flooding into the country. In the past, if an illegal alien sneaked…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Feds Open No-Kill Shelter for Immigrants on Texas/Mexico Border
Posted in Human Interest Society

“My Hard Drive Crashed” In as Most Used Excuse, “Dog Ate my Homework” Out

Rio Linda, CA – People have excuses for everything. For years, kids have notoriously used the well-known excuse, “My dog ate my homework”, when wanting to excuse why they didn’t do their homework.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! “My Hard Drive Crashed” In as Most Used Excuse, “Dog Ate my Homework” Out
Posted in Politics

IRS Commissioner Gollum Gets Grilled by Congress About His Precious Agency

Washington D.C. – This week has not been kind to Gollum and his “precious” agency, the Internal Revenge Service, as the creature has been on the hot seat having to answer for the mysterious disappearance of Lois Lerner’s relevant emails.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! IRS Commissioner Gollum Gets Grilled by Congress About His Precious Agency
Posted in Politics

After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

New York City – Publishing giant Simon & Schuster, desperate to find a way to turn a profit on Hillary Clinton’s new book “Hard Choices”, has come out with other possible uses for the book. The company hopes to entice…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book
Posted in Sports

Hope Solo, US Women’s Soccer Goalie, Can’t Stop Slapping Things Down

Seattle – Hope Solo, the hot goalie and star of the Team USA Soccer team, is used to swatting things away. Everything from soccer balls to guys constantly hitting on her. But now it looks like the beauty might be…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hope Solo, US Women’s Soccer Goalie, Can’t Stop Slapping Things Down
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon

Middletown, NJ – Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, who gained notoriety on MTV’s classy show Jersey Shore, was arrested for fighting with his own brother at a local tanning salon that the pair own together. Apparently, the double douchebags came to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon
Posted in World News

The ‘Avengers’ Called Upon to Battle Militant Extremists in Iraq

United Nations – The United Nations has formally asked the ‘Avengers’ to step in and quell the current wave of violence in Iraq that is being waged by the extremist terror group known as ISIS. As the terrorist savages closed…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The ‘Avengers’ Called Upon to Battle Militant Extremists in Iraq
Posted in Politics

CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner

Atlanta – CNN president, Jeff Zucker, has leaked information that shows the network is aware of what happened to two years of missing emails between embattled IRS operative, Lois Lerner, and various people in government, including the White House.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner
Posted in Politics

Jay Carney Addresses Sex Change Transformation Rumors

Washington – Outgoing 16 year-old White House press secretary, Jay Carney, has finally admitted his secret sex change transformation from a man to a woman is well underway and that hormone replacement therapy is ongoing. Carney, who originally had planned…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jay Carney Addresses Sex Change Transformation Rumors
Posted in Politics

Hillary Clinton Reveals She Was Original Member of “The Beverly Hillbillies”

New York City – Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton came out of the poor house long enough today, on her current book tour, to confess to the world how hard her life has been. She and former President Clinton…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hillary Clinton Reveals She Was Original Member of “The Beverly Hillbillies”
Posted in Politics

President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades

Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades
Posted in Politics

Door Hits Jay Carney 55 Times on the Way Out

Washington, D.C. – 16 year-old former White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, is in the hospital for observation after being beaten up by a door as he left the press briefing room after announcing his resignation. Carney, who now plans…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Door Hits Jay Carney 55 Times on the Way Out
Posted in Entertainment

Gwyneth Paltrow Fitted for Muzzle, Treated for Diarrhea of the Mouth

Los Angeles, CA – Some people don’t know when to shut up. Such is the case with actress Gwyneth Paltrow. Her mouth has gotten her in hot water with critics again and, this time, drastic measures have been taken to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gwyneth Paltrow Fitted for Muzzle, Treated for Diarrhea of the Mouth
Posted in Serious Commentary

Santa Barbara Killer’s Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors

Santa Barbara, CA – As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation’s elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren’t nearly as smart as they are….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Santa Barbara Killer’s Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors
Posted in Entertainment Music

Former MTV Host Arrested For Breaking Into Sirius/XM Headquarters

New York City – Mark Goodman, a former VJ from the 1980’s heyday of MTV, was hauled away in handcuffs last week after being caught hitting the button that turns all Sirius/XM radios on, regardless of whether the customer has…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Former MTV Host Arrested For Breaking Into Sirius/XM Headquarters
Posted in Crime

California Considers Move to Ban ‘Blonde Sluts’ After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any

Isla Vista, CA – A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get “retribution”, as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! California Considers Move to Ban ‘Blonde Sluts’ After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any
Posted in Politics

President Obama Vows to Punish the Guilty in VA Scandal, Unless They Happen to be Federal Workers

Washington, D.C. – President Obama sternly admitted that no one in the country is more outraged than he over the news coming out of the VA scandal in which numerous veterans have lost their lives waiting for medical care. Nobody…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! President Obama Vows to Punish the Guilty in VA Scandal, Unless They Happen to be Federal Workers
Posted in Politics

After a Day of Spinning, Jay Carney Requires Nearly a Pharmacy to Sleep at Night

Washington, D.C. – After an average day of spinning details of current events to make the President look good, no matter how bad the situation, White House spokesman, Jay Carney, needs practically an entire pharmacy to help him sleep at…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! After a Day of Spinning, Jay Carney Requires Nearly a Pharmacy to Sleep at Night
Posted in Politics

John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed

Washington D.C. – Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Entertainment

Pink Floyd to Release Children’s Bedtime Book: Dark Side of the Mattress

London – After decades of churning out original, trippy, bizarre and beautiful music and selling kazillions of albums, Pink Floyd have announced they intend to release a children’s book this summer. Titled, “Dark Side of the Mattress”, the book promises…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pink Floyd to Release Children’s Bedtime Book: Dark Side of the Mattress
Posted in Television

Jake, From State Farm, Sues State Farm For Ruining His Dating Life

Bloomington, IL – The actor who plays “Jake, from State Farm”, we’ll call him Jake, from State Farm, in the famous insurance firm’s commercial, is suing the company for stereotyping him as “hideous” and ruining his love life. The actor…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jake, From State Farm, Sues State Farm For Ruining His Dating Life
Posted in Entertainment

NYC to Name “New Yorker You Least Want to Run Into” Award After Alec Baldwin

New York City – The New York City Visitor’s Bureau has decided to begin handing out an annual award designed to reward a recipient, while at the same time alerting the public to a person who, should they see him…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NYC to Name “New Yorker You Least Want to Run Into” Award After Alec Baldwin
Posted in Entertainment

Jay-Z Forced to Rewrite “99 Problems” After Sister-in-Law Becomes #100

New York City – Famous rapper Jay-Z thought he had it made. Married to one of the most famous people in the world, singer Beyonce, the wordsmith has been enjoying life since 2004 when he announced he only had ninety-nine…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jay-Z Forced to Rewrite “99 Problems” After Sister-in-Law Becomes #100
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Music

Miley Cyrus Complains About Dwindling Number of Ways to Shock Audiences

San Francisco – At a recent concert stop at the “City by the Bay”, pop nuisance Miley Cyrus whined that it’s getting too hard to shock audiences at her shows these days and that Madonna and Lady Gaga have racked…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Miley Cyrus Complains About Dwindling Number of Ways to Shock Audiences
Posted in Politics

White House Laments Roosevelt Didn’t Have #HitlerSucks in 1940’s, Could Have Shortened War

Washington D.C. – Sixteen year-old White House Spokesman, Jay Carney, commented in today’s presidential press briefing that it was a shame the Roosevelt administration didn’t have the benefit of hashtags in the early days of World War II so they…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! White House Laments Roosevelt Didn’t Have #HitlerSucks in 1940’s, Could Have Shortened War
Posted in Entertainment Music

‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run

Los Angeles – Ryan Seacrest announced this morning that, due to former American Idol finalist Clay Aiken’s close results in his bid to win a congressional seat in North Carolina, the show would transition to a clearinghouse for all future…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! ‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run